


Paradise Is In Her Eyes

by JazzKat1213



Series: We’ve Made It This Far [6]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: A character gets as close to death as in the show, Adora Has Issues (She-Ra), Angst, Blood and Injury, Catra Has Issues (She-Ra), Catra has a mild She-Ra freak out, Communication, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex, Lesbians in Space, Making Out, Original Species, POV Adora (She-Ra), Post-Canon, Space Battle, The girls are healing, can be read as a standalone, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25384495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzKat1213/pseuds/JazzKat1213
Summary: The metal sits warm in her hand when she speaks, “Hey, Catra, love?”The pet name gets the response she wants because Catra’s ears immediately go soft as she turns her head and meets her eyes. “Yes?”“I, um,” she’s barely a foot away from her now, Catra turns so they’re fully face to face. There’s such an open expression on her face it makes breathing suddenly rather hard. But she manages it, somehow. She holds out the pin saying, “Promise you’ll wear it?"Chapters 6 and 7 fromPromises, Promisesbut told from Adora’s perspective. Can be read as a stand-alone if you want.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Minor Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra) - Relationship
Series: We’ve Made It This Far [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759741
Comments: 18
Kudos: 104





	1. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6: The go to a planet and fluffy space shenanigans happen plus Catra forgets how hot She-Ra is and freaks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the pacing is slow at the beginning. I promise it gets better, but I really needed to get through the set up chapter as well. There's a reason I filled the first part with little fluff pieces.  
> Set three years after canon.

It’s surprising how much one action can affect her.

She's dressed in layers upon layers of fabric in preparation for the icy planet Ollion that they’ll be landing on. High-necked and thick red jumper under an even thicker white coat, it feels wrong. It’s not often she wears anything other than what she’s always worn. Not even when they travelled to the Northern Reach on Etheria did she wear anything like this, but although She-Ra has natural weather immunity, it’s dangerous to use her until they’re not yet sure of the planet’s attitudes. There had been some run-ins early on in their space travels that she doesn't care to remember. 

But the action in question is not one of her own doing, but rather Catra’s. As a well known hater of cold weather she’s wearing just as many, if not more, layers than Adora is. But the snowy climate also means that she’s wearing shoes, black boots to be precise and something prickles the back of her mind. Something like a detail in a dream.

“What?” Catra catches her staring, she usually does, but she must have a strange expression on her face to elicit the confusion in Catra’s voice.  
“You’re wearing shoes,” the statement is weird, she knows it. There’s no real reason for her to find this as odd as she does but Catra has expressed many times her hatred for shoes and how they undermine her abilities. She even refused to wear them to the series of balls held on Etheria after the war much to Glimmer’s chagrin.  
“Adora, you’ve seen me wear shoes before.”

She knows that. But she’s still trying to think why this seems so important, she comes to the conclusion that it’s particularly those shoes that are making her head whirr like a machine. It doesn’t produce anything. “I know, I just…Nothing.”  
Catra tilts her head to the side looking both confused and slightly bemused, Adora only responds by pressing a kiss to her cheek for no other reason than she wants to (and she can.) Plus it makes Catra’s lips twitch up in a soft smile.  
“I’m going to go over the plan for today with Glimmer.”  
Catra rolls her eyes at her, “Again?”  
She sighs, “Yes again.”

She gets to the door when her brain seems to finally make that connection: her vision. The one she saw at the end of the world, of her and Catra (and Glimmer and Bow) happy and going to a dance all dressed up. Catra had been wearing boots incredibly similar to what she wears now, only there’s no gold accents on them and these are clearly meant to battle cold weather rather than dance. The hazy golden memory is one she’s never told Catra about, she doesn’t know why. What she does know is that she was happy with Catra in the dream and she’s happy with her now. Loves her even more than she thought could be possible, in fact she says it:

“I love you.”  
Catra’s eyes sparkle in blue-tinted light, “I love you too.”  
She tosses, “And your hair would look really good in a ponytail,” over her shoulder as she leaves, letting Catra do what she will with it. 

That little reminder of her wish stubbornly stays in her head while she and Glimmer reiterate what they know about Ollion. Still, she manages to take in all the information required, even if dream-Catra keeps prodding at her focus. Her outfit and her hair and the...the _pin_. She was wearing Adora’s Brightmoon Alliance badge proud on her shirt. The weight of it on her own chest sits heavier than usual. She wants Catra to wear it, she realises, wants everyone to know how much she means to her. Love swells in her lungs, flooding into her throat. Gods she loves her so much. She ought to tell her more. 

* * *

She leaves Glimmer and Bow’s room (it’s the only other bedroom seeing as Entrapta and Wrong Hordak just never seem to sleep) when they tell her they need to continue getting changed. Darla had landed a few minutes ago and Adora seems to be the only one actually ready.

She meanders to the bridge, and the door closes behind her, she’ll be happy to just look out at the new landscape while she waits. But Catra is there and suddenly she doesn’t want to watch the inky blue and black horizon outside anymore. Melog is sitting on the windowsill, quiet as anything. She walks closer, knowing Catra can hear her steps. She thinks about wrapping her arms around her waist, burying her face into Catra’s hair, but the thoughts from earlier make another appearance.

She doesn’t want to wait to see Catra wearing her badge, can’t bear the thought of anyone not knowing for a second longer the depth of her feelings. She knows Catra will playfully make fun of her for such thoughts if she voices them aloud and it just seems to make said feelings stronger. She unclips it quietly, Catra still doesn’t turn to look at her but her ears twitch back and her tail seems to acknowledge her. It makes her smile.

The metal sits warm in her hand when she speaks, “Hey, Catra, love?”  
The pet name gets the response she wants because Catra’s ears immediately go soft as she turns her head and meets her eyes. “Yes?”  
“I, um,” she’s barely a foot away from her now, Catra turns so they’re fully face to face. There’s such an open expression on her face it makes breathing suddenly rather hard. But she manages it, somehow. She holds out the pin saying, “Promise you’ll wear it?”

Catra is silent, her eyes start shining from emotions Adora’s trying to read. For a split second Adora thinks maybe this was a bad idea, maybe Catra doesn’t see the badge the same way she does? But it is only for a split second because Catra takes it, claws retracted into soft hands. She pins in onto her red coat lapel and looks at the way it glints in the artificial light of the ship.  
“I promise.”

Adora feels her face break out in a wide smile and she can’t stop it when she throws her arms around her girlfriend, bringing her as close as possible even with the layers in between. Catra pushes into her as well and everything is perfect in this moment. She turns her face into Catra’s neck, breathes her in for a few moments.  
_‘You ought to tell her how much she means to you more often,’_ the thought comes back. And she wants to act on it but there’s truly no words that can accurately encompass everything she feels so all she says is, “You mean so much to me.”  
She hopes it gets the message across.

Catra’s ear twitches against the top of her head; she’s listening for something. Catra pulls back a bit and she doesn’t have time to be disappointed by it since Catra just kisses her, it’s quick and sweet and it makes her heart swell. This is theirs. She tries to follow her, drown her senses in her but Catra speaks,  
“Okay I’m ready, let’s go meet the Sparkle Squad.”

Adora has half a mind to sigh at the name - it’s ridiculous - but so is Best Friend Squad so she can’t really begrudge her that. But again, it’s theirs, so she loves it. Melog hops off their perch, trotting out the door that remains open for them. Everyone is pulling on the last of their layers in the loading bay, even Entrapta is there. She says she wants to do some tinkering with Darla’s outside mechanisms. Adora has no good reason to object and besides, Entrapta is staying with the ship to make sure she holds up against the intense weather, she’ll need something to do with nobody else here.

Catra seems to agree with her, “So long as you don’t break anything then we’re cool. I do not want to get stuck on this ice planet.”  
Glimmer’s got her hands on her hips when she responds, “What is it with you and the cold? You know you have fur right?”  
“Duh. I’m used to being warmer than all of you.”  
“That...You know what I don’t care. Let’s just do this.” 

Entrapta ignores whatever is happening between them to say, “From what I gathered off Horde Prime’s ship, Ollion is a supplies planet occupied by natives that call themselves Ollisions. It was kept alive enough to provide food for the inhabitants and nearby occupied planets.”  
Catra looks skeptical, “How much can they really grow in a foot of snow?”  
Bow turns to her, “Well that’s just it, because of the snow Prime couldn’t easily use it for anything else so he forced the people into underground caves warm enough for food. They probably wouldn’t even know we were here if we hadn’t sent a signal.”

There’s a small lull and Adora takes it as her chance to address the whole team, they need to be ready for this mission. “Okay, listen up. This won’t be like our other missions, this planet still has it’s magic, even if it’s diluted. This is purely diplomatic and we are here to help with the society's functioning. Be prepared for a bad reaction to Wrong Hordak but do not engage unless absolutely necessary.”  
She sneaks a quick glance at Catra just because she can feel her eyes on her but nothing seems particularly off. She nods along with everyone else anyways. 

While they wait for the Ollision’s signal she gravitates towards Catra, her hand ending up on her shoulder without permission. It has always seemed to do that, although now Catra doesn’t say anything against it (or push it off like she used to.) She removes said hand when the signal comes through, they’re all ready to exit the ship and head out into the endless expanse of snow. The door slides up and she has to brace herself against the wind without She-Ra. In some weird way she misses her, even if Adora can still feel her light and strength buzzing deep down under her skin. She hasn’t used her powers in months, not properly anyway, hasn’t even transformed at all. But today is not the day for her to make a reappearance.

“Let’s just go. The sooner this is over the better,” Catra says it through gritted teeth and Adora rolls her eyes at her. But she gets it, this ice that seeps into her skin isn’t fun at all. 

* * *

She waves at Entrapta as they exit the ship and the Princess waves back, but only for a moment before crawling on top of Darla and clawing open a panel. The light given off by the ship is lost quickly as they walk, till Adora really can’t see much of anything, despite the lantern held by Bow. Just black-blue shapes. There’s no snowfall, not that she thinks she’d be able to see it anyway. Catra and Melog are walking ahead as she suggested, seeming unbothered by the darkness and glowing like a beacon. She knows she’s staring at the way Melog’s blue glow dyes Catra’s hair but if anyone asks it’s because she’s the only thing she can actually see, which in enough aspects is true.

“There,” Catra points to somewhere in the distance.  
Bow lifts the lantern higher, “I don’t see anything.”  
“That’s why she’s leading this Bow. Catra’s got this,” she’s smiling to herself because _of course_ Catra’s got this, she’s amazing. She’s also right because moving shapes, glowing soft orange, come into focus a few steps later as Catra leads the rest of them closer. 

The natives aren’t as big as she’s been imagining but they look strong and they still tower over them all. The crunch of snow underfoot quietens as she, Bow and Glimmer all come to stand beside Catra, Melog glowing cyan around her feet. Their mane and tail are suspiciously still but she guesses it’s just because Catra’s not yet comfortable around the new species, that happens every time they reach a new planet. She waits for the natives to react to Wrong Hordak but they don’t even acknowledge him, it makes anxiety she hadn’t really been feeling before spike. 

“Know that we do not trust you.”  
Okay, that was...blunt. But fair. They didn’t exactly trust them either, even if they were here to help. Their pure yellow-orange eyes bear down on them, again, unsettling but nothing too unusual.  
“We, uh, weren’t expecting you to,” Glimmer says, clearly unprepared for the harsh tone but she handles it well enough.  
“Just so that is understood. Come this way.”

She looks to her friends, silently saying _‘well we’ve come this far’_ before following the already retreating figures in front of them. She lets the others go ahead, she doesn’t need to lead so she’ll protect the back of the group. At least that’s what she tells herself as Catra and Melog fall in step beside her. She’s watching Catra again, it’s not unusual, it’s practically expected now. And she’s long past finding shame in it. But Catra looks on edge, her ears and tail won’t stay still and her eyes are flicking about the landscape. Maybe there’s more out there and she just can’t see?

Whatever it is, she’s on edge. Adora knocks their shoulders together, the action casual and friendly and familiar. Catra tries to smile, she can see that even in the dark, and it’s better than nothing. Catra’s hands hold onto the pin on her chest and Adora can’t repress the smile that graces her face. How can something so small can make her feel so warm?

For the second time a light can be seen in the darkness, a hill within the snow or maybe a hill made of snow? The question is useless and she lets it go.  
“This is the entrance.”

And yes, yes it is. The following silence is heavy but she elects to ignore it, heading into the icy tunnel, admiring the delicate and clearly ancient markings along the walls and ceilings. Snow doesn’t follow them down as they walk, the temperature climbs slowly as the light brightens. There’s fur rugs and tracks along the floor and while she wants to ask, she figures they’ll tell them if they want them to know. That’s the thing about visiting different cultures, Adora always feels like the natives have to make the first move, give information willingly. And maybe it's sometimes painstakingly slow, but it hasn't failed them so far. 

The pressure increases as they near the base of the tunnel, and she feels her ears pop, only disorienting her slightly. She didn’t exactly have any expectations for the caves, the only thing that really came to mind was images of crystals and rock, all blue-purple in nature. At least that’s been her experiences with caves so far. But it’s nice to know that even after all this time the Universe can still surprise her. Everything is ice, even down here. The walls are almost see through, but opaque like a dusty mirror, there are things in the walls producing light. And everything is orange. The underground feels that much warmer because of it. Sturdy white pillars - only partly made of ice - hold the dome in place, she follows them up to the ceiling, seeing a crown of crystals; that’s more familiar at least.

Beside her Bow and Glimmer are staring sky - ceiling? - wards as well, though Catra isn’t, she’s still looking around, taking in population size like she always does. Adora looks too, although she’s not counting, she notes how the Ollisions down here are orange, not white. But so are the ones that had come to meet them, reflective fur she guesses, though it doesn’t really matter, it is interesting. It’s also really quiet, quieter than Brightmoon had seemed when she first got there. She’s gotten used to near-silence by now, not completely but enough. This though, is clearly very different. There’s footsteps and movement sure, they’re not in a vacuum, but no voices as she expects. 

“Can I ask why you are loading up supplies onto sleds?”  
She startles a bit at Glimmer’s voice when it breaks the silence, unprepared for it. She silently berates herself, she shouldn’t have been so caught unaware in unknown territory. She also should’ve paid more attention to those sleds and the cargo they were holding. At least there are no Horde insignias.  
“We supply our sister planet Dorboros with food. They bring space-faring ships for collection.”

Okay so an alliance, it’s unusual but not exactly weird, especially if this ‘Dorboros’ was one of the planets that relied on the food grown here. They have yet to see any of it and she is curious. The tunnels go by faster than she likes, the only glaring difference is in the sizes of the domes. She has a feeling she’ll get lost down here very easily, still she does start forming a map in her head. Whatever strange shuffling and humming sounds she’d been hearing before get louder when they enter the largest dome they’ve yet to see. There’s a lot more Ollisions here, families of them in fact. There are kids running around and groups sitting by piles of that orange crystal, it seems to be a very tight-knit community. She notes the alcoves covering the bases of the walls, darker and clearly meant for sleeping. 

The natives turn to them as they enter, following the three that had led them here. She thinks maybe they’ll talk now, explain why they’re here if they don’t already know. But it remains just as quiet, if not quieter as the Ollision ‘addresses’ the mass. Sure, he’s using his hands and body _like_ he’s explaining something, but there's no sound. It reminds her of Catra’s ears and tail, how she uses them unwittingly to express things she doesn’t say, but not exactly. Different enough to leave her with a lot of questions.

Speaking of Catra, she tugs on Adora’s arm to whisper in her ear, “I think they communicate through body movements.”  
And yeah, that makes sense, but it’s nice to have it confirmed. She nods and stands up tall again, she misses the touch even if the expected heat can’t be felt through the fabric. The hums and shuffles start up again when the Ollisions turn back to them, “This is one of our living domes. Come this way.”

The walls start to change, Adora notices, as they go even further down. The domes too, are smaller but brighter, more crystals peaking through the walls. The agriculture they’d been informed of is shown, the plants are almost familiar. At least they’ll eat well enough while they’re here, and won’t have to rely on the ships rations. Unless the food is like Etherian Horde food, in which case...she doesn’t want to think about it. But they’re not in the farming domes long, and the walls morph again, packed ice turning more to white stone.

Bow asks, “If it’s not too much trouble, do you mind telling us where we’re going?”, and the caution in his voice is clear.  
“To our leader, xe is in the deepest of domes.”  
The heat rises with the increasing depth, it's still not by any means warm, but enough so that the thick coats they’re all wearing suddenly feel sweltering.  
“Hey, can we stop a second?” They all turn to Bow and he shrinks slightly under so many looks. “Just to take our coats off.”  
It’s like he read her mind, and Adora (as well as Glimmer and Catra) immediately shuck off their outer layer.  
“It’s okay! We are not taking off our skin...or fur. Or anything like that.” 

Glimmer sounds mildly distressed and so Adora glances up at the faces of the Ollisions. They look severely uncomfortable, only slightly reassured by her words. Adora suddenly fears that they might have messed this up. The look fades and they instead just turn away, fine by her. She lets out a short breath of relief. She folds the big white coat over her arm, and Melog brushes against her legs. She pats their head and looks at Catra, she’s moving the pin onto her top. She wants people to see it; she’s proud of her, of _them_. The smile that appears on her face is wide and she doesn’t care, not even when Catra sees her gleaming like a fool. But then Catra’s looking away and they’re walking again.   
  


Wrong Hordak is up ahead, closest to the natives. They don’t seem to mind him, most planet’s inhabitants do and she doesn’t blame them. Maybe they think the Horde isn’t a threat to them anymore? Which they would be correct in thinking, although it usually takes them a few days (a lot more days) to convince ex-Horde colonies of that fact. But as more and more time passes the fact seems to be easier to believe.

They continue going deeper till they’re presented with another dome, uneven walls covered entirely in the orange crystal like a skin. Adora pays no mind to the workers who carry on silently, instead focusing her attention fully on the leader to show respect. The leader looks older than the rest, fur long and less reflective than the others, though it hardly matters it will help her identify xim while they stay here. Xe makes xis way over slowly, navigating the uneven floor with ease. Xe doesn’t make eye contact initially, ‘conversing’ with their Ollisions guides first. The orange glow of xis eyes is darker than the others as well, Adora notes when xe turns to them.

“I have been informed that you cannot understand our telepathy.”  
Oh telepathy. They’d dealt with this before (sort of) so this shouldn’t be too hard. At least they understand the Etherian language well enough.  
“No, we communicate verbally for the most part.”  
Adora smirks to herself at Bow’s words and the reaction they get from Catra who takes a moment to realise it's her he’s talking about.

“You are here to help us recalibrate after the demise of Horde Prime.” The lack tone indicating questions is still jarring but she figures reacting in kind is what’s best, obvious meanings and as few words as possible so all she says is “Yes.”   
The Ollisions seem appeased and turn to Wrong Hordak, finally questioning why he’s here with them. “And you have with you one of Horde Prime’s clones?”  
Wrong Hordak takes that moment to wink at xim, it still makes her sigh even as she’s accepted that it’s just something he does.  
“We have brought him with us to show you how clones can be redistributed with purpose once befriended,” Bow says.  
“They are not used to being free without orders and need guidance,” Glimmer adds.

The leader - whose name Adora still doesn’t know - studies Wrong Hordak, and it irks her that she can’t tell what xe’s thinking. That feeling doesn’t go away when xe tells them to follow xim but they all do it anyway, back to winding through an endless multitude of ice and stone crossroads. At some point Bow asks the leader’s name and xe responds that it is Kyrif. The surprisingly easy pronunciation is welcome after the last few planets. She listens intently to whatever Kyrif and the other Ollisions say, seeing as when she tries to focus on where they’re going it just confuses her. She’ll figure it out eventually. The crystal inside the planet is called sujanite and although the information seems kind of useless it might be needed later so she stores it away. 

There’s something about the next dome they’re brought to, it seems more rushed and newer than the rest. The lines of immobile clones makes her assume that this place was made specifically for them, and made in a hurry. At least they weren’t _‘disposed of’_ as other planets had done, the thought makes her want to shudder but she suppresses it. There’s a single Ollision here, wandering amongst the rows with a blunt pike, maybe they’re guarding the clones? Adora doesn’t know.

“Brothers! Rejoice in the downfall of Horde Prime, rejoice in your freedom!” Wrong Hordak breezes by her, unaffected by the eerie sight before him. He tries to get their attention but they’re all shut off, eyes white and faces blank. Though, she supposes, that’s not so different than normal. She catches sight of Catra, or more accurately the knuckle tight grip she has on her coat, she’s probably fighting off bad memories and as much as she wants to comfort her, she knows neither touch nor attention will be welcome right now.

“What’s wrong with them?” Glimmer asks, drawing Adora’s attention away from her girlfriend.  
“Interfering with the ports allows for us to shut them down for a time. We have kept them in this state for three years,” Kyrif responds.  
“Well that’s, uh, what we’re here to help with. We can help you help them.”  
Kyrif nods, “You shall receive a residing pod for the period of your stay, you shall eat with us and meet with a council.”  
“Sounds great,” the relief in Glimmer’s voice isn’t lost. They’re being offered a place to stay, it’s always a good sign, makes them all relax slightly.

“If you want them to be useful to you, you have to let them wake up.”  
She is oddly surprised at what Catra says, this being the first time she’s spoken since meeting the Ollisions on the surface. It’s stupid that she’s missed her voice, it’s been less than an hour for gods sakes. But Catra’s tone is sharp, she’s clearly still not comfortable here, or maybe it just seems that way compared to Glimmer’s peppy voice. Catra’s tail curls round her leg as orange eyes land on her but her face remains stoic.

“The process will begin after rest.”  
Kyrif and the Ollisions turn and start walking again and Adora sees Catra’s shoulders relax, she’s still scared of messing this up. It’s comforting to know that they both still feel that way after two years of missions. 

* * *

Adora finds she doesn’t mind the silence when they walk back up through the tunnels to the first housing dome they’d seen. They don’t have a million questions for them to answer, there’s no uncomfortable anxiety-inducing silence as she figures out what to say. Glimmer is the first one to speak, and that’s only after they’re seated around a campfire of sujanite and eating the alien plant life. It tastes weird but good so of course she eats as much as she’s allowed, they don’t know how often the Ollisions eat, it could be days till their next meal.

“Adora, you know we can just ask for food when we’re hungry? You don’t have to eat everything right now,” Catra says, hand finding a place on her knee. Dammit she knows her too well, knows she won’t want to ask for fear of seeming rude. It makes her slow down and it seems to appease Catra if the soft look she receives means anything.

She’s not really paying attention when Bow calls Entrapta, the signal isn’t great but the message does get through: they’re going to stay down here for a while and she shouldn’t expect them back. If Entrapta is upset at not seeing the civilization she doesn’t show it, though she does end the call very suddenly. But she always does that so Adora pays it no mind. She’s too busy relaxing into the warmth of Catra against her side and she rests her head on Catra’s shoulder until the group is shown to their ‘residing pod’. It’s not exactly big, it’s about the same size as Bow and Glimmer’s room in Darla except it’s got to fit four Etherians and a space cat. Wrong Hordak doesn’t sleep with them seeing as he doesn’t actually need sleep. Adora doesn’t know where he goes but this place hasn’t been hostile to him in any way so she’s sure it’s okay. 

The walls are all packed ice so close to the surface, so she’s definitely thankful for the mountain of furs for them to sleep on, covering every inch of the floor, and even some of the walls, successfully insulating it. While she’s wondering how they’re all going to fit, Glimmer shouts, “Sleep pile!” excitedly. It makes Catra groan loudly, but the soft curling of her tail tells her that she’s not actually going to fight the suggestion. “We know you love it Catra, it’s a cat thing.”  
By now they’ve all seen how clingy a sleepy Catra is and Adora knows how jealous Bow gets because the only one she’ll willingly wind around is her.

“You shut your bitch ass mouth Sparkles.”  
But this is not a particularly sleepy Catra and she’s keeping the grouchy mask on. Glimmer, Bow and Melog don’t take it, tackling Catra to the ground. Adora laughs at them all, especially the reluctant false-angry cry Catra let’s out. She joins them, bundling into the pile, arms wrap around her immediately, though she doesn’t know whose. There’s some muttering that passes between them that she’s not really paying attention to. Catra remains stubbornly quiet and she wouldn’t be surprised if it’s because she’s trying not to purr. It’s that last coherent thought she has before sleep takes her.   


* * *

  
Early morning has Adora waking to a more empty pod, only Glimmer and Melog are still there with her. She doesn’t worry, she knows Catra and Bow are safe wherever they are. They meet with the aforementioned council at something like midday. Turns out she really didn’t have to worry about food, the meals happen (sort of) regularly twice a day. The communication barrier isn’t too wide, surprisingly, and the plan for the next few days regarding the planet’s rehabilitation forms fairly quickly.

They get to work on it immediately, or at least Adora does. She follows Kyrif around unless xe specifically gives her a task to do elsewhere. Actually awakening the clones and rehabilitating them is slow and painful work. The Ollisions direct language works better than their rambling explanations, so they take a backseat in the endeavour. A few hours in and everything is going...well. They each take a clone one at a time. She keeps checking on Catra, her ears have been back the whole time and her claws are out as soon as a clone moves anywhere near her. About ten clones are awake and starting to adjust when an incident occurs.

“I remember you, little sister.”  
It’s not the first time Adora’s heard those words, she turns to see Catra’s eyes pinprick thin, her ears flat against her head and her hands shaking. She doesn’t know what she’s remembering but it’s clearly nothing good. She runs after Catra as she bolts fast as a whip down white rock tunnels. Melog seems torn between running just as fast to keep up with her and slowing down to help Adora follow her path. She doesn’t keep up, not when the floor turns back to ice, but she knows where she’s going. 

She’s winded by the time she gets to the residing pod and finds Catra there breathing just as heavily, though it’s for a different reason. She’s holding her Brightmoon pin tight in both hands, she guesses to stop them shaking while she breathes. She ignores the way it makes warmth flood through her - it is decidedly _not_ the time to feel like that. Melog is lying with their head in Catra’s lap and Adora joins her on the floor. She waits for Catra to lean into her, but once that initial contact is broken, her hand immediately pulls her closer. She carefully runs gentle fingers over the scar on the back of Catra’s neck where the chip used to be, telling her she’s safe over and over again. She can’t feel Catra’s fur through her thick top but the action helps in steadying Catra’s breath. Catra whispers ‘thank you’s into the space where her neck meets her shoulder until she’s calm. She continues long afterwards as well and they don’t move. Not until the others come to find them at the next meal time.   


* * *

  
They don’t have another incident like that during the next two days, Catra stays as far away from the clones as she can. She works on carving out a new housing dome for the clones nearer the surface. And despite it only having been two days, Adora misses her while she’s deep in the tunnels. She tells Kyrif she wants a break from clones to work on the dome and xe agrees, showing no indication if xe knows it’s just because she wants to spend time with Catra while _also_ helping them.

 _“What are you doing so near the surface?”_  
She had thought about lying to save herself some dignity, some bullshit about being too warm so close to the core but Catra would see through it in a second. There’s no point so she just told the truth; she says that she misses her and it’s worth the insufferable smirk on Catra’s face because of the warmth in her eyes and the kiss Catra presses to her cheek. 

After a couple of hours she’s sweating through her top, the warmest she’s been down here. Her decision to move up here and do hard labour definitely pays off though, even if it’s just because she gets to see Catra’s lean muscles through her shirt as they work. The fur on her face shines even brighter orange as more sujanite makes an appearance in the walls. 

* * *

She drags Catra to the cave entrance with her once they’re done, Catra doesn’t even ask why, and neither do Bow and Glimmer. She stops them a way from the entrance to keep them out of the low wind and the snow it blows in. Neither of them have their coats on and the sweat still sticking to both of them drops in temperature quickly.  
She’s bouncing on the balls of her feet when she says, “I dare you to stand in the snow for fifteen seconds.”

“Adora I will freeze, I’m covered in sweat.” Well, duh, that’s what makes it fun.  
“I’ll do it with you!”

Catra groans loudly with her head back and she can’t keep her eyes off the fur lightly plastered to the column of her throat. She also knows it’s a show, Catra is just as childish and reckless as she is and they haven’t had a chance to just let go in a while. “Alright dummy, but if we get sick you’re telling Bow it was your fault.” Catra gets a glint in her blown out cat eyes when she catches her smiling.  
“Deal.”  
Catra shifts with her closer to the entrance, the wind getting stronger and whipping their hair slightly as it funnels down into the caves. Catra starts laughing and Adora decides it’s been way too long since she’s heard it. She’s twitching with the need to move, “On three. One, two, three.”

They run out into the snow and don’t stop. Catra counts aloud with her and once they get to seven they start running back. _It’s so cold_. The snow burns with icy heat and the wind roars through her ears. By the time they’re back there’s ice crystals in their hair. It’s not too bad for Adora, she brushes most of them away once they’re deep enough into the tunnel again. Catra however, being covered in fur, can’t do that. She tries, shaking her hair out but it’s like there’s gems embedded in her skin. Adora thinks she’s shining in the low light. 

The rush of adrenaline keeps her breaths fast and the blood risen in their cheeks as they laugh. Everything is sharp and cold. And then it’s not because Catra fits herself into her arms and she’s warm and soft against her. Catra mutters something about sharing body heat as a weak excuse for kissing her but pushes her against a solid ice wall, so the message is a bit mixed. They’re still breathing too hard and laughing from the rush for them to keep kissing but they try. She feels Catra's purr against her lips and she swears she can hear it over the howl of the wind.

She doesn’t remove her arm from Catra’s shoulders as they walk back down, and her high keeps her from caring about the looks Glimmer and Bow give them. But they too, are laughing when they tell them what happened. Though it’s mostly from exasperation and not an adrenaline rush. She watches the way Catra’s ears flick with annoyance when Melog keeps trying to lick the ice that starts melting in her fur and Adora smiles when they curl up in Catra’s lap after she pushes them away.   


* * *

  
Time on Ollion revolves around meals rather than sky cycles, but the meals themselves have flexible timings so by something like the fifth day, Adora really doesn’t know how long they’ve been down here. They’ve spoken to Entrapta everyday but she’s no help either seeing as she just works as long as possible and only eats and sleeps when she remembers. She might not know what exact day it is but she does know they’re leaving today seeing as everything with the integration has been going smoothly.

She's in one of the farming domes when a tremor echoes through the floor, followed by a low and prolonged crash. It’s the loudest thing she’s heard since being down here. She’s on her feet immediately. There are only a few Ollisions in the dome with her as they’d been explaining the farming system to her in more detail just to kill time before they left. The Ollisions look as confused as she feels and they all leave suddenly without a word. She waits for a few minutes, unsure if she should follow when footsteps get louder and hums flow through thin tunnels like a wave. She needs to figure out what’s happening but there’s no one there, she starts moving, trying to find someone. She’s not running, not yet anyway. 

Catra comes barrelling with Melog round a corner, as soon as Catra sees her she stops and turns to the cat, “Melog go find the others and stay with them, if you feel something bad from me come find us okay?” Melog meows once and then runs off to do as Catra says. She moves closer and Catra takes her hand, “What’s happening?”  
She opens her mouth to say that she doesn’t know but an Ollision at the crossroads behind them answers first, “Collapse. Trapped.”  
There’s no question of whether or not they’re helping, all she needs is a direction. “Where?”

The Ollision points and neither of them hesitate to start running, more natives pass by them all escaping closer to the surface - away from the collapse. It must be near the core, the closer they get the more deserted it becomes. The air is still and with no one to follow they’ve reached another crossroads.  
“Now where?”  
Catra barely waits a second before placing her hand against the wall, Adora doesn’t know what she’s doing but her ears start flicking around. She doesn’t question it when Catra starts moving again, saying, “I think it gets stronger down there.”  
It’s just them running, there’s no time to get anyone else, not when more tremors ricochet through stone and ice on all sides.  
  


Once they get to the site of the collapse the only one there is Kyrif, xe’s standing by a crumbled wall and (she guesses) xe’s talking to someone trapped on the other side. It’s not the only wall that’s been destroyed, Catra runs over to the other one.  
“How many?” she asks Kyrif.  
“Four.”

Catra squeaks and she turns from Kyrif to see something grabbing at Catra’s ankle; it’s an Ollision hand. At least they know someone’s behind that wall now. The arm itself is actually reaching through the largest gap in the rock and there’s a good chance the trapped inhabitants will be able to get through if they raise it enough. She jogs over, finding a hand hold on the underside of the boulder and working with Catra to dislodge the smaller rocks above it enough. It works and the Ollision escapes, only stopping to say, “Just me,” before going over to Kyrif.

She lets the rock fall, feeling her arms burn with the effort of lifting it. She guesses Kyrif must’ve told the other native to go seeing as he’s no where to be seen. Her and Catra rejoin Kyrif at the other broken tunnel. There’s fewer gaps and all of them are smaller anyway. They still try to lift it but it doesn’t work, she keeps trying. She doesn’t know what she expected, _of course_ it’s not that easy. She feels her frustration rise.

“Catra I don’t know how we’re going to move the rest of this.” Catra has the audacity to roll her eyes and so she glares at her in response.  
“You do remember that you’re She-Ra right?”  
“Oh, right.” 

She’s She-Ra. She’s embarrassed she didn’t think of it earlier. Catra’s correct; she is an idiot. She moves back from the wall to give enough space for She-Ra’s taller height. The tunnel’s ceiling might still be too low but she doesn’t really have a choice. Catra and Kyrif back up as well as she reaches her hand out, calling forth the magic that’s laid dormant in her bones for the past few months. It’s easier than expected to make the sword materialize in her hand, the weight long since familiar.

_“For the Honour of Grayskull!”_

The magic consumes her, the hot-cold fizzing of magic soaking into her muscles as they grow with her body. Glaring light leaves and she’s towering over the other two people in the cave with her, dressed in white and gold and red. She’s missed the pure power she’s feeling, the way it settles like a net around her body trying to contain itself. The tunnel is tall enough to house her without her bending down, but not by much, in fact she can feel the rock brush against her head as she moves. Catra’s staring at her, blush high on her face with shock. Another thing she’s missed: that reaction from Catra, She-Ra has always been the easiest way to get it. She smirks at her girlfriend, unfortunately not in the right situation to give Catra any of the attention she wants to. 

She needs to get rid of the barrier. She plunges the sword into stone and it slices as easily as paper. Pulverized rock turns to dust and flutters to the ground. Not wanting to cause another collapse, she stays where she is as Catra reaches a hand through the widened gap but still, no one can pass through.  
Catra turns back to her, “Can you lift it?”  
“ _Can I lift it?_ ” she scoffs. Looks like Catra will never stop teasing her about her powers. 

She reaches under the rock, same as before, except this time it’s easy. The ceiling crunches as she lifts the debris a little bit too high and she worries that the stone and ice are going to start cracking. It doesn’t, she breathes, still holding the boulder in huge hands. Catra helps the train of Ollisions escape and they all go rushing to the surface without a look back. None seem hurt so she lets them go without a word. Maybe they say something silently? She doesn’t know. She drops the stone, flinching with the way the floor trembles. Then it’s just her and Catra and Kyrif.

“We know of She-Ra.”  
“Uh, you do?” This has happened before. It wasn’t good, she should’ve known better than to - she cuts herself off. Xe should finish before she jumps to the worst possible scenario. The sunflare around her goes out and gravity pulls her hair down.  
“Clones.”  
“Ah.”  
“You defeated Prime.”

She nods, not knowing what else to do. She can’t help but look at Catra, she always does when she hears ‘you’ singular instead of ‘you’ plural. She couldn’t have done it without her and everyone ought to know that. The _“We defeated Prime,”_ sits heavy in her mouth but the way Catra won’t look at her says everything. She doesn’t want her to say it so she forces it down. Catra swallows and she doesn’t know if there’s a reason for it, but she watches all the same.

“We thank you. You shall eat before you leave.”  
She turns back to Kyrif, oh right, they were meant to be leaving. The Ollisions don’t want help with the collapse? She decides it’s not her place to say anything, xe’s obviously already decided that xe wants them to leave. Catra nods along with her this time and she lets the magic and strength fade out of her, the gold blows away on a non-existent breeze.

Catra’s tail keeps flicking sharply as they walk back to the surface, she doubts Catra even knows she’s doing it. She doesn’t know what Catra might be thinking about but she doesn’t look particularly happy. If this keeps up she swears she’ll ask her later but right now Catra’s reaching over to take her hand, and Adora is entirely content to let her do just that. 

* * *

Glimmer, Bow, Melog and Wrong Hordak are waiting for them near ‘their’ housing dome, close to the surface. Adora willingly ignores the sheer amount of Ollisions around them, happy to wait until most of them have left before they cross the area but Catra drags them through the crowd to their friends. Maybe Catra’s all twitchy because she wants to leave? It’s the only thing her mind can come up with right now.

After a series of _“You’re okay!”_ s, the group settles around a cluster of sujanite to eat. Adora’s surprised that Kyrif (and a few other Ollisions they’ve actually spoken to) sit down with them. She feels strangely honoured by it. The conversation is still stilted and awkward with the communication barrier but she doesn’t find it nearly as unsettling as she once did, happy to wait for an Ollision to find the right word or remember to speak aloud at all. She keeps glancing over at Catra and Melog, easily noticing how she’s relaxed with the meal. Which is definitely a good thing, but she won’t meet Adora’s eyes and she can’t figure out if there’s a reason behind it. She’ll have enough time to think about it on the way back.

She’s broken out of her thoughts by Kyrif, xe stands and speaks as a way of short goodbye, “Goodbye travellers. Mahriph will show you out.”  
There’s some silent communication between Kyrif and who must be Mahriph, but no other words are said. Xe leaves the dome entirely, heading back down into the farms and mines. Their collection of supplies hasn’t been too depleted seeing as the Ollisions were willing to provide, so it’s still about as heavy as it was when they first came. Glimmer’s complaints make her smile, as do Catra’s responding teases. 

Mahriph walks them to the entrance despite them all knowing the way by now, it’s nice all the same. The temperature drops steadily as they climb the tunnel once more, all of them bundled back into their coats. The wind is practically non-existent, for which Adora is grateful for (and she’s sure Catra is even more so) but it is snowing hard.  
“Visit our sister planet Dorboros, they are in much more need of assistance than us. They relied on the Horde for supplies as the planet itself is dead, and now they rely on us. Their atmosphere is the same, you will be safe.”  
No one says anything, all a bit shocked for that must have been the longest speech any Ollision has said to them. There's a nod in unison from everyone but Wrong Hordak who waves enthusiastically.   
  


The way back is shorter thankfully, purely because they actually know where they’re going. The thick new blanket of snow dims most of the light they have - namely Melog and a lantern - and so they rely a lot more on Bow’s trackerpad for the actual direction. She knows Catra is looking at her the whole time but she can’t bring herself to look back, just in case it stops. With how she’s been acting, as soon as Catra realises that she’s onto her she’ll probably draw back, or get defensive, so she tries to take in as much of her as possible without direct sight. It’s not an easy task, especially considering the heavy snow that catches in her hair, she looks beautiful, she always does. Her tail starts flickering wildly again, Adora sees as the snowfall thins, so whatever was bothering her clearly still is.

Darla appears before she can ask about it or figure it out, which would be a better thing to do. The doors open before Bow sends a signal, Entrapta’s using the scanner maybe? It doesn’t matter, the doors open and they can get out of the cold. Entrapta is waiting in the loading bay for them, ready with her mask up to hug them with her hair. It’s sweet, though unexpected. It’s also short because within seconds she’s asking Wrong Hordak about Ollion tech and civilization. Adora can see the way she half-deflates when he informs her of the distinct lack of tech, only for her to be reanimated by news of telepathy. She’s sure Entrapta will be rambling about theories on how their anatomy and brain waves allow for it within the hour. The door slides shut with a hiss and she takes off her coat, ignoring the lingering cold that makes her bones ache.

“Hey Entrapta, I think we’ve got a new next destination,” Bow says as he too removes the first of many layers.  
Her eyes light up, “Oo, where?”  
“Dorboros, Ollion’s sister planet.”  
“I’ll set a course.” Bow kisses Glimmer’s cheek before he and Wrong Hordak run after her in the direction of the bridge.

Catra and Melog shake the melting snow from their hair, and even though it makes her even colder, she laughs. She likes when Catra does silly childish things like that; it means she’s comfortable doing it at all. Glimmer on the other hand has said many times she’s biased and so instead just grumbles about the icy water that was flung at her. But as soon as Catra meets her eyes, for the first time since before the collapse, she stiffens. Another sharp tail flick.

“I’m going to go change out of these clothes,” she says, voice closed-off as she leaves quickly.  
Adora leaves her coat in the loading bay with Glimmer, not-exactly-quietly following Catra’s direction. She makes the mistake of following Melog instead, and ends up alone with them in the ship's kitchen. They meow at her and she just has to guess that means Catra has snuck into their bedroom. 

She doesn’t make any indication of something being wrong as she enters, maybe Catra is just really done with this ice planet. It wouldn’t be a stretch to assume so anyway. She’s standing by her pile of clothes on the floor - Adora’s not even sure why she insisted on using the ship's wardrobe compartment to begin with. But she tenses again when she enters, ears flicking back to the sounds her feet are making. Catra seems to try and relax but it doesn’t work, her movements are too sharp and quick for her to seem anything close to comfortable.

Maybe she’s making Catra uncomfortable? She doesn’t like that thought, it tastes sour. She ignores it, or tries to, turning around to change just in case. The eyes are back on her, she knows that, can feel them. She’s always been able to feel Catra’s eyes on her, ready to strike or tease or something softer. And though she might now be used to Catra watching her change, it still makes her blood start racing. It’s stupid, they used to have to change in the same room all the time, but she can’t help it. By the time she turns around Catra is standing by the bed, eerily still. Catra turns her head away quickly, but not quickly enough that she doesn’t notice, she stares at the covers like she wants to get in but just can’t. 

“What’s got you acting all weird?” That was the wrong way to start this. Catra’s ears are already back in defense.  
“What? I’m not being weird.”  
“Yeah, you are. Have been since the cave collapse.” Again, not the best way to confront her but she doesn’t know what else to do. She’s already said it, fuck, she never thinks does she? Catra’s tail flicks again, batting against the bed. She’s not looking at her. Then maybe it’s about her? If Catra won’t look at _her_ specifically, then it must be. She started acting this way after the collapse but why would that - oh.  
“Is it about She-Ra?”  
Catra bares her teeth and her ears flatten fully against her head, “Maybe.”

Is Catra angry with her for using She-Ra? She thought they’d gotten past this, they’ve talked about it and everything. Many times in fact. Is it because she hasn’t used her in months?  
“Well it was your idea to use her,” it betrays her own confusion. She doesn’t care, she needs to get Catra to talk about this. Catra huffs at her and it doesn’t help her put this together in any way.  
“Why would I be upset about that?” It’s not angry, it’s something else. Annoyance more likely, or frustration.

“Well she’s not made an appearance for a while, and I guess I maybe thought you’d be uncomfortable with it? I don’t know Catra.” She’s struggling with this way too hard, and it’s not her fault that Catra’s not making it any easier.  
“I missed her, okay.”

Any anger or frustration that might’ve been rising is suddenly wiped away. Okay back to confusion again. “You missed her?” It sounds disbelieving in her own ears. It might as well be a lie but why would Catra lie with something she’s not going to easily believe, that’s not her style at all. She’s better than that. (Though it’s not a good thing.) And she’s _still_ not looking at her. Is she - is she embarrassed? 

Either way, she’s not going to get answers if she keeps prodding, Catra’s got to come clean herself. She has to make that leap. She crosses her arms and waits, wearing a look she knows makes Catra infuriated purely because she only ever uses it in situations like this. It’s not exactly guilting her into talking but it might as well be. It’s been a while since she’s had to use it. Even if Catra’s not looking at her, she growls and her tail snaps at the air again. She knows the expression is there.  
“Fine.”

She can see the mask Catra’s putting on easily, the switch from vulnerable to untouchable confidence - like prey to predator - it happens in seconds. She doesn’t blame her, knows that She-Ra is still a touchy subject, that she needs this. But the sudden intense eye-contact she’s been denied takes (steals) her breath away. Every trace of Catra’s discomfort has vanished, even if it must still be there. The longer she stares the more Catra’s smirk grows, all teeth and fangs. She’s too busy trying to keep her pulse at a reasonable rate to even realise how close Catra has come, barely a breath away from her. Adora could count every single freckle if she wanted too.

Her hands cling to her arms where they’re still crossed in an attempt to not simply crush Catra into her. They still need to talk and they can’t do that if Adora crashes their lips together. Although with the way Catra’s looking at her, that might very well happen anyway, though it won’t be her initiating it. 

Claws dig into the racing pulse on her wrists when Catra grabs them, uncrossing her arms and throwing them down by her sides. It’s unexpected, and if it hadn’t already wiped the look of her face, Catra’s whole body pressing into her front definitely would’ve. Arms curl like snakes around her shoulders, claws as blades threatening along her jawline to her neck. Her intake of breath stutters when Catra’s tail wraps around her waist. She really is too good at this.

Adora realises her hands are still hanging dumbly at her sides and as reluctant she is to break whatever is happening, she needs to touch Catra back. The want - the need - comes roaring through her head. It’s harder than she ever thought possible to just _move_. Her hands land on Catra’s waist and that smirk grows; she knows exactly how useless she’s rendering her. But something in Catra’s eyes dims and before Adora can say anything, ask her if she’s okay, the eye-contact is broken.

Catra’s lips are flitting along her cheek, making a path to her ear to whisper, “Maybe I forgot how hot She-Ra was.”  
It makes her shiver and it takes several moments for her to fully comprehend what Catra just said, even longer when her girlfriend starts pressing wet kisses up and down her neck. So Catra is embarrassed, she’s embarrassed about...liking She-Ra? But she is She-Ra. And she already knew that, she wasn’t blind to the way Catra looked at her (not anymore anyway). Catra's kissed her as She-Ra before, it took a while, but she's okay with it now. But Catra didn’t always see it that way, and maybe she just doesn't think about She-Ra if she's not here? Whatever it is she's admitted it now and Adora can't really resist teasing her. 

“Thought you didn’t like She-Ra?”  
She does try to keep the tone playful, but it comes out contorted by her own heavy breathing. There are still claws tracing patterns on bare skin and kisses being placed sloppily against her pulse after all. She closes her eyes against the feeling while she waits for Catra to answer.  
“Well that, Adora, was before She-Ra got a makeover and became a more ripped, seven foot version of you.”

Gods the way Catra says her name. Catra’s teeth scrape against the tendons in her neck as she speaks and she bites lightly there once she’s done. It makes Adora bite her lip as she tries to just think. Catra likes her as She-Ra, Catra is attracted to her as She-Ra and...and Adora needs to look at her. 

Her hand moves quickly from its place on Catra’s waist to tangle in long hair, she pulls her face away from her neck with the pressure she knows Catra likes. The sound Catra lets lose makes her throat go dry. It's probably a good idea if Catra doesn't make any more noise, otherwise there really is no way she's going to be able to get through this. She leaves her hand there and just looks; at Catra’s eyes that are pleading at her to do _something_ , at her lips that she drags her fangs over. Catra watches her as well. And just as it seems like Catra might look away she locks her arms around her tighter, Catra can’t leave, doesn't look like she ever wants to.

She takes a chance, a stupid reckless chance on what Catra’s said. She draws Catra into a kiss by her hair and the arms still around her shoulders press them even further together. She doesn’t think they could be any closer right now if they tried, Adora can feel every inch of her burning against her like a fire. The tail around her waist leaves but she doesn’t care, not when Catra’s mouth is against hers, harsh and desperate and full of teeth and tongue. It’s surprisingly easy to let She-Ra consume her, to let the magic soak into her muscles as Catra continues to kiss her. She assumes Catra feels the magic flowing through the both of them; it’s like their first kiss all over again. There’s still the overwhelming joy of having her in her arms, except she loves her even more now. The knowledge makes her heart race. She keeps kissing her through it, even as their bodies separate with the height difference and Catra’s arms fall from around her. She feels so small in her hands.

Catra rests their foreheads together when she pulls away to breathe, Adora feels her movements still when Catra undoubtedly feels the metal against her fur. Her eyes snap open to watch Catra’s face as she realises she probably should’ve asked before doing this. But she kind of did. It doesn’t matter, Catra’s opened her eyes, their spilt colours boring into her.  
Catra laughs breathlessly, “Oh, hey Adora.”

It’s equal parts relief and joy that make her laugh as well, there’s still doubts sure, but she’s genuinely happy here. The room trembles with the sound, power leaking before she can reign it in. Catra pulls back further and she has to stop herself from bringing her back in. She could do so, so easily. But she won't, Catra pulled away for a reason. She stands up to full height - Catra really is so much smaller this way. She’s not glowing, though she only notices this because Catra remains in the dull blue of the ship’s light rather than the white of She-Ra’s. As a means of limiting temptation till Catra says otherwise, she moves the hand still in her hair, big enough to cradle almost her whole head now, to her shoulder. She doesn’t miss the way Catra’s eyes follow the movement in her arm. She can feel the way Catra’s chest is heaving under her hands.

“I wasn’t actually expecting you to do it.”  
There’s a rush of doubt that almost stains her cheeks with an embarrassed flush. She looks at the floor, moving her hands off Catra’s body quickly when she says, “Oh, well I can transform back -”  
“I didn’t say to do that either,” Catra says as she drags hands back to her waist. The almost blush from earlier becomes fully real, she can feel the heat of it in her face. Catra’s ears are alert like she’s ready for a fight. Claws prick at the muscles in her arms, Catra doesn’t take her hands off them. There’s love and fire in her eyes that Adora’s still not exactly used to seeing from so high up. She’s also got that insufferable smirk firmly back in place. Adora’s unsure how much of it is for show anymore.

“Why are you so smug?”  
“Because I can get the oh so mighty She-Ra to blush.”

Gods she’s such a little shit. Does she know how easily she can break her like this? She can feel the way Catra’s stomach muscles flex and tense under her hands as she waits for her reaction. She’s probably saying that for a reaction, she always does, doesn't she? And if Catra wants a reaction she’ll give her a fucking reaction. Two can play this little game of hers. (Un)surprisingly being She-Ra gives her confidence, especially given the way Catra swallows when she bears otherworldly blue eyes down on her again.

She bends down closer to Catra’s own height again, removing a hand from her waist to grab her chin and force the eye-contact Catra half-heartedly tries to glance away from. Catra’s eyes widen and her mouth falls open. Adora wants to kiss her again, devour her if she’ll let her, but she does nothing, reigns the thought in. She has to be gentler with her like this.

“Do you think that I can’t do the same to you, kitten?” It’s a line straight out of Catra’s own book and she knows it.  
Catra chokes out, “That’s not fair.” It’s almost funny coming from her.

 _‘Hypocrite’_ , she thinks. She gets distracted by the fur under her fingertips that bristles slightly from the magic flowing between them and the way blood rushes into Catra’s cheeks making her eyes glow brighter. Which was kind of the point, but it’s still so satisfying to make happen. Adora keeps their eyes locked, “Never said it was.”  
“Kiss me.” It seems to escape before Catra can stop it, she looks shocked with herself.

But Adora is never one to deny her and maybe Catra hums into it, or maybe it's the power rushing in Adora’s ears. It always feels different to kiss her like this, everything just slightly _off_ from what she's used to. But she knows how to do this, how to run her tongue along Catra's lips until she lets her in. Claws wind into She-Ra’s hair and fangs bite down on her lips. There’s no tearing of skin, no blood to poison the feeling. Catra moans into her mouth and Adora’s hands grip at her thighs in response. The noise turns to a gasp when she lifts her up, closing any distance between them. Catra hooks her legs around She-Ra’s waist, thighs squeezing in a way Catra knows will just make her hold her tighter. 

Somewhere between when Catra drags her claws from her hair to her shoulders and when she starts sucking on She-Ra’s lips she begins purring. It’s the last piece of evidence she needs to be able to confidently say, “You do like this.” She doesn’t even bother taking her mouth off Catra’s to say it, teasing her is not worth being apart for even a second. Catra seems to agree with her, on the kissing front at least.  
“What in Etheria gave you that idea?”  
“You’re purring dummy.”

The vibrating in Catra’s throat stutters as she realises the fact. She seems to give up on caring about it though, sealing their lips back together with even more force. Adora steals the moans from her mouth, still repressing her own sounds for no known reason. Catra starts rocking against her gently and she’s probably not even aware she’s doing it. It cuts out any and all of Adora’s thoughts but _‘more’_. A hand removes itself from Catra’s thighs, still able to easily hold her in one, and works its way under the back of her shirt. 

She worries about hurting her with the unknown force she’s using to hold their chests together, she moves her mouth to Catra’s neck so she can better hear the purring that hasn’t stopped. It’s reassurance that she likes this, plus she gets to feel her pulse under her tongue. Those same purrs get louder and the claws that have been hooked into Adora’s shoulders scratch deeper. She successfully muffles a moan in Catra’s neck, that her girlfriend doesn’t seem to notice.

Every time Catra lets out another sound, moaning quietly in her ear, she can’t help but pull her in tighter. It worries her because it would just be so easy to crush her like this and from the sounds Catra’s making, there’s a good chance she wouldn’t even care. Adora’s fingers press into Catra’s back hard enough to bruise and the whine in her ear makes her start walking them to the bed. She tells herself it’s so she doesn’t hurt Catra with her strength but there’s definitely some selfish need to press her into the mattress, to feed this burning under her skin. 

Catra gasps as her back hits the bedding, She-Ra's thigh finding a place between hers. Catra throws her head back and burying itself there. Adora can’t stop herself from staring at Catra underneath her, at the way her chest falters with her panting breath. Gods she’s the most beautiful thing Adora’s ever seen, and despite the gnawing need burning through her she strokes a hand down Catra’s face. Her tail winds around her other leg and their eyes meet. She wants to say something, wants to tell her how gorgeous and strong she is, how much she loves her, but Catra seems to sense this and squeezes her tail tighter. It successfully works in shutting up both her mouth and her thought process.

“I know we just got changed but want to help me out of my clothes?”  
Of course she would say something like that. It makes her laugh and the magic in her surges out her body, she feels the room shake with it again. Catra’s staring at her with wide eyes but it’s definitely not fear reflected in them. She can feel Catra’s thundering heartbeat and purr in her chest. _‘She likes how strong you are’_ , she’s helpfully reminded.  
“I could tear them off you if you want.” She doesn’t know where the words come from but she is incredibly willing to do what she just said. 

Catra stays silent, fang poking out the side of her lip before she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. “As much as I would love that, we do have a limited amount of clothes.”  
Dammit she has a point. It makes her frown, she really does like ripping Catra’s clothes off her. But said frowning makes Catra smile in return so maybe it’s okay?  
“But we’re going home soon.” Catra stays quiet and raises an eyebrow, she already knows she’s going to win this one. “Okay you’re right.”

Just because she can’t tear them off doesn’t mean she isn’t going to just _take_ them off. Adora’s hands return to her hips so she can pull Catra into her lap. Catra kisses her, starts rocking against her again and whining in the back of her throat, seeming entirely focused on the task rather than what she asked a minute or so ago. And as much as Catra getting off on her thigh is an amazing thing to see (and she has definitely seen it before) she wants her naked and writhing in her arms more. She starts tugging at the hem of Catra’s sleep shirt just to remind her of what she asked, the fabric is lost quickly after that. 

She doesn’t even get to look before Catra latches onto her throat with her teeth. It has her biting at her lip almost heard enough to break. But then Catra’s claws tear at the clothing on her abdomen and she can’t stop the gasp that escapes through gritted teeth, she surrenders further to Catra’s mouth, throwing her head back so she has more canvas to cover. There’s a deep, _possessive_ growl that’s whispered against her skin and it makes every muscle in Adora’s body tense in order to prevent herself from doing anything. This is the first time Catra’s gone past She-Ra’s lips (first time they've ever gone past just kissing actually) and she doesn’t want to push her, if Catra needs this to be comfortable then she will be still.

Kisses on her neck turn lighter as they move up to her ear and a hand lifts Adora’s up to Catra’s head. She grips the hair like a lifeline, not too worried about hurting her, not when she makes sounds like _that_. Teeth move from her neck to her arm - the one that’s tangled in Catra’s hair - and begin trailing along the muscle there. She can’t tell if Catra’s just trying to get used to her in this body, exploring it as she had done with her the first time, or whether Catra’s thought about this before. The way her hidden smile seems calculating makes her think the latter. Hands still on She-Ra’s stomach press harder, claws catching in the flesh there and the burn of it makes her breath hitch and fingers grasp tighter at snow-wet hair. She needs to kiss her, she needs to. Needs it like she needs air to breathe. Her free hand strokes at the thin fur spread across Catra’s neck, she treasures the strong pulse there, it makes Catra shiver under her hands. She’s so alive. Catra goes more than willingly into another kiss, magic spilling between them.

Catra whines lowly against her mouth again and Adora thinks that no one can really fault her when she throws Catra back into the bed, drinking in the way Catra growls at her to come closer as she cages her in with her arms. 

* * *

“We should probably shower,” she says once she’s caught her breath again. She-Ra may have super strength but not even she is immune to the way Catra makes her breathless. The power had faded out of her a few minutes ago and she realises that because of the transformation she’s still got her sleep clothes on.

“Probably,” Catra mumbles through her purring. A quiet, low thing that she definitely doesn’t know she’s doing by the looks of it, or maybe she does, either way it makes satisfaction sit heavy in her bones. Catra looks as blissed out as Adora feels. Adora hadn’t noticed when Darla started moving but she is now, flying through space to the next planet. 

Blue and yellow eyes snap open and stare at the ceiling, the purring stops and Catra laughs up at the blue-purple metal above.  
Adora shifts onto her side to ask, “What?”  
Catra’s still laughing, it breaks as she continues to breathe heavily, “I can’t believe we just did that.”  
She chuckles with her, mostly in disbelief, “Can’t believe you let me.”

The sound fades and Catra drags her hands down her face, groaning with it, “Neither can I.”  
She’s shrinking in on herself, and Adora needs to stop this before she falls too far. It’s fine, everything is good - amazing in fact - she just needs to make Catra believe that. It’s always been a difficult task but she’s getting better, they both are. She leans over her, taking Catra’s wrists in her hands and pulling them away gently. 

“Hey it’s okay.”  
“Is it?” The sound is weak and raw and it threatens to break her heart.  
“Yes. It is,” she reassures again, pressing a kiss to Catra’s forehead. She did always respond better when there was action backing the words up. She smooths hands down either side of Catra’s face, feeling the radiating flush there. She still looks so...guilty, ashamed. Maybe Catra feels too exposed right now? She curls herself down, face in Catra’s neck so she doesn’t have to look at her if she doesn’t want to, she gives her a one armed hug as she lays on her, a now familiar position. “It was fun and harmless and I love you.”

“I love you too,” Catra’s intake of breath doesn’t rattle anymore, “Thank you, for being so understanding about this.”  
“Believe it or not, I do know you Catra.”  
“After all this time you fucking better.”  
It makes her huff a laugh that ghosts it’s way over Catra’s cheek. She sits up, regretful of the space it makes between them. “Come on, get dressed and we’ll go shower.”  
“Seems kind of counterproductive.”  
She shakes her head at her, smiling, gods she loves her. “Just get dressed.”  
Catra sits up as well, “Kiss first.”

How could she ever say no to her? The purr she missed for all of two minutes starts up again against her lips. She stands up and throws Catra’s clothes back at her, unashamedly watching as she gets dressed. She offers a hand once she’s done and Catra takes it easily, her tail winds around their connected arms as they walk to the washroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well at least I got to use the crystal name (that I made up in 3 seconds and only appeared once in the original) again I guess.  
> Good angsty shit in the next chapter :)


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7: Space battle, Catra does a self-sacrifice, Adora has mild PTSD, the girls do some healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to split the chapters just because it was almost unbearable to read 22000 in one go when I went back to edit it. Also changed a whole lot of the formatting because long paragraphs now annoy me.

The screech and crackle of the telecoms is not exactly how Adora wants to wake up. It has her pulse racing far too quickly and her hand reaching for a weapon she doesn’t have.  
_“Dorboros approaching in eleven minutes.”_

She swears the telecom is mocking her, at least she slept well, no nightmares and she didn’t wake once. Catra beside her groans into her pillow, “Hate those things.”  
“I know but they are kind of useful. And at least there’s not a screen in here.”

She looks over at her only to notice the bruises and marks she'd seen starting to form on Catra's back, neck and hips during their shower are all gone. She runs fingers through Catra’s mane just to make sure, but she is correct in thinking so. She doesn’t know when that happened but at least She-Ra's healing magic has saved them from Glimmer’s comments. There’s some dread regarding what they might say about the noise until she remembers that Darla is sound proof by design. She leaves the bed with far too much energy and Melog whines from their place on top of Catra’s pile of clothes, having come in after they fell asleep.  
There’s an unmuffled “Ugh,” as Catra, too, leaves the comfort of their bed.

Adora stares out the window they’d had installed in their room as she brushes her hair. She loves the view of the stars they have in here, she’s lost track of how many times she’s fallen asleep sitting with Catra just looking out at the cosmos. They get to dress in their regular clothes today, Entrapta having done a report on the climate of Dorboros before they went to bed (she really just _never_ sleeps.) Her clothes are still packed (fairly) neatly in her own compartment and she collects them before looking around for a hairband. 

“Hey can you pass me one of those?”  
She looks around for anything of Catra’s that she might have near her but there’s nothing. “One of what?”  
“Hairbands dummy.”

Huh? Oh. There’s no point (and no way) of keeping the shock off her face. She hands one over and Catra smiles as she turns back to the mirror she’s in front of. There are few things in the Universe that could tear her eyes away from Catra as she drags her hair up into a sloppy ponytail, none of which reside in this room at this moment.  
Then slitted eyes meet hers in the glass again, “What do you think?”  
“Yeah, it’s good,” her voice is humorously weak and it makes Catra smirk. But it’s not like she couldn’t say anything else, she’s always wanted to see Catra with her hair up. It used to just be a mild curiosity but after the Heart and her vision...well now she actually knows how amazing she looks. Sure, there’s differences, like how Catra’s grown out her grey tufts again. But that just makes it better, makes it seem real.

“Why was it so important to you?”  
She shrugs, “Had a dream. You looked good. I was right.” She remembers they do actually have a time limit weighing over them and gets dressed quickly, pulling her own hair up. Catra stares at her unashamedly the whole time, she usually does. And she loves it, but teasing her is more fun than admitting it. “Are you ever going to get tired of the fact that you can do that now?”

Catra pretends to mull it over because she’s a little shit like that. “Um, no. Not at all.”  
Adora’s own light blush betrays her and she tries to laugh to cover it up. Catra kisses her sweetly once she’s dressed, like she does every morning. (Well, ‘morning’.) It takes a lot of effort to not run her hands through her ponytail, but she wants to keep it up.

 _“Catra, Adora are you awake?”_ comes crackling through.  
Catra growls against her lips as Adora removes herself and runs over to the response pad by the door. She tells the others they’re on their way. She bounces on her feet as Catra catches up to her and they both jog slowly to the bridge. 

* * *

Dorboros with it’s orange body and broken white moon, dominates the glass. Horde debris orbits the planet in thin rings and even more Horde ships float in the blackness. But they don’t move, immobile in the void without clones. They dodge the rocks and tech easily, pass through the orange cloud without an issue. Usually there’s some threat of crashing into an unforeseen obstacle on the surface, a forest or liquid mass that won’t allow them to land, but not here. There’s nothing, a purple-grey dusted surface that stretches endlessly. As they fly over the surface looking for the civilization they know to be here somewhere, the flat land starts rising into sharp, claw-like cliffs. Many of the peaks are flat along the tops, like they’ve been sliced through with a blade, and while strange, provide a good landing spot for Darla. The civilization on the horizon comes into view with some sick dread. 

All she says is, “It looks like the planet where we met the Star siblings…” it trails off though, not really knowing how to end the sentence. Dead. It looks dead. Any dust thrown up by their landing falls to the ground with no breeze to carry it away into the valley below. They’re not too far from the city - yes it’s a _city_ \- the cliff they’re on top of only has a drop off the side, ahead of them it slopes gently down into the desert. She’s sure they’ve never seen a civilization this big before, the buildings tower in pristine white and shiny coal black, acidic green of the Galactic Horde is the only light given off, it flares up in a strange beacon between the buildings. It’s a Horde stronghold. They weren’t informed of that. After the distinctly Horde-less Ollion it’s threatening that after so long it retains its banners.

Catra passes her to walk to Glimmer and puts a hand on her shoulder, Glimmer’s own hand reaches up to meet it. Of course, it looks like Prime’s ship. They’re probably both dreading going there, but seeing them comfort each other makes Adora feel a little warmer on the inside.  
“Another dead planet.”  
“That we can help.”  
“Maybe.”  
She hears them say quietly, and she feels like she’s intruding on something. Catra’s tail hangs limp and it betrays how much she doesn’t believe her own words.  
  


They know the signal Entrapta had sent was received and so wait for any sign of life on this planet. There’s obviously inhabitants within the city, but whether any will come and meet them is up to question. They have Horde technology though, they have scanners and all numbers of tracking tech that Adora’s sure Entrapta would absolutely love to get her hands (and hair) on. So it stands to reason that they know they’re here. They wait for several minutes without even so much as a signal back.

Catra’s ears flatten and she takes her hand back from Glimmer, she says, “I don’t like this.”  
Neither does Adora, “I know but they need help, just like everyone else.”  
Catra’s ears stay back, “Entrapta, run a scan.”  
“Sure thing!”

Adora’s sure her excitement is from the tech she’s seeing and the knowledge she might gain from being here. Ollion did disappoint her after all. More of Darla’s control board blinks awake under Entrapta’s hair and Adora watches closely at the scanner as it starts picking up heat signatures quickly. The red dots are moving closer to them, there’s people in the valley, so why can’t they see them? Are the natives invisible here? That would be a first.

Catra’s voice is low in warning but steady when she breaks Adora from her musings, “There’s a group in the valley.”  
She can’t see anything, but Catra’s always had better eyesight, she checks where Catra’s looking against heat signatures on the screen and she’s right. So not invisible then. Entrapta rises up on her hair, looking over the lip of the cliff where a mass of red keeps growing on the screen, “Oh that’s bad.”

“Definitely not friendly?” Even Bow doesn’t sound optimistic about this clearly still Horde-occupied planet. It’s enough to set her on edge so that she’s bouncing on her feet again.  
“Well, they are wearing all white and carrying banners with Prime’s flag.” No one says anything. “Oh, and they’ve got an army of bots with them.”  
Catra’s growl hits her ears and Melog shifts to spiked red. “Can you get us out of here?”  
“Yes.” Entrapta’s hand hovers over a button.  
Do they want to get out of here? But what if...  
“Then lets -”

“Wait,” she grabs hold of Entrapta’s hand against her better judgement, “If they have such a large base here could they figure out how to get those warships working again?”  
Bow backs her up after a moment of deliberation, “We just told Ollion how to use the clones.”  
There’s so many possibilities and consequences inspired by those words, but what comes out her mouth is: “What if they start trying to take back the empire?”  
Before she can think of anything worse Catra spins round and runs out the door. Glimmer calls out after her, “Where are you going?”  
There’s a watered down, “Weapons!” from the storage room and it seems to kickstart everyone else into moving. They all run down the hall after her.

Catra’s already pried open a crate with her claws - at least they had actually thought to bring weapons. Adora stays with a pacing, blood red Melog in the doorway.  
“We were set up,” Bow says despite the obviousness of the situation. In his defense this is the first time this has happened which is honestly surprising in itself. Adora can already feel the steady drip of adrenaline in her gut, the nervous energy from earlier coming back in full force. Catra tosses him his bow and arrows and Glimmer a staff not unlike the ones Adora and Catra would train with as cadets.

She says, “Clearly the planet's alliance is still firmly in place even if Ollion isn’t actively remaining in the Horde,” annoyed and disappointed with herself for not even considering that their might have been ulterior motives to their kindness. And maybe there wasn't, not at first. But then She-Ra showed up, she remembers the calculating look on Kyrif's face; so that's what that meant. 

“I hope they like sparkles,” Glimmer says, stretching her arms out.  
“Glimmer you don't have magic here, not even sorcery.” Bow's concern is understandable, but even he’s seen Glimmer fight without either of those things plenty of times. All of them can hold their own.  
“It’s okay Bow, Glimmer’s got this.”  
It’ll be fine, it always is.

* * *

When this is over she likes to think she’ll think of this with some sort of fondness. It’s just like old times, her and Catra planning for battles. But they’ve never done it together to fight _against_ the Horde. If Catra realises this as well, she doesn’t let it show but that’s okay. This planning serves as a reminder for why Catra was such a formidable opponent in the war, she damn well earned her Force Captain’s badge, no matter what Shadow Weaver said. One of those reasons being her innate eye for detail. Catra doesn't even have to think about a way out like she would, just tells Entrapta to wait on the ship, ready to fly at a moments notice. She's always checking numbers, even when she doesn't realise it. It's why she decides to send out Wrong Hordak first while the rest of them wait for a reaction, seeing as one of their own might make them hesitate. They don’t have any backup so Catra assigns Melog to the role, though that may have been for more selfish reasons. 

Now they’re standing in the loading bay, hidden behind strapped down crates as a form of cover for when the door slides open. Aside from Melog and Entrapta, they’re all here; the Best Friend Squad and Wrong Hordak awaiting Entrapta’s signal.  
“We’ll follow your lead Catra,” Glimmer says and Catra nods in response, utterly focused. There’s some quick flash of longing that passes through Adora’s head - what if Catra had joined the Rebellion earlier? Would it have been like this? It doesn’t matter, they have it now. Everyone’s tense in their waiting, it’s just that Adora’s able to see it more with Catra. The way her claws are black blades in the dim light, her fangs glint out the side of pulled back lips, her tail stays completely still and her ears flick towards any and all noise. Right now it just happens to be Adora’s own breathing.

Her battle calm isn't broken by the rough crackle of the screen blinking to life behind them, Entrapta appearing above the door, Catra hisses and her ears flatten because she was listening too closely. _“They’ve asked for She-Ra. What should I tell them?”_  
She mutters, “Oh I’ll give them She-Ra,” under her breath, knowing Catra is the only one who’ll hear. One of those clawed hands fly out in front of her, Catra thinking she’s going to move before it’s time. Which is a fair assumption, but she stays still. Catra doesn’t say anything in response, just looks to the screen and points to the door. It slides up the next moment. 

“We demand to talk to the She-Ra, murderer of Horde Prime,” a static voice says. She can’t tell how far away they are. It’s the first time she’s been called a murderer, the word sits in her stomach like a stone. It’s not technically wrong and she doesn’t feel guilty about what she did but the word itself is like a brand. Catra motions at Wrong Hordak and he worriedly goes to face the crowd, blue glowing eyes in his face a clear sign that he’s not with the Galactic Horde anymore, even if they did dress him in white. There’s no immediate fire but it doesn’t make her relax an inch. It makes her fingers crackle as she prepares to summon her sword.

The next voice to speak is muffled, “Do you come with the She-Ra?”  
‘The’ She-Ra has always sounded so weird but it’s really not what she should be distracted by right now. Wrong Hordak ignores what’s been said, “Brothers, lay down your weapons for you are free. You are no longer bound by orders from Horde Prime.”  
More stillness, so much so that she stops breathing for a few moments. Then there’s a whir of machinery. “We do not want to be free.”

The first blasts are fired, all missing Wrong Hordak as he runs back into the safety of the ship. Some green ammunition plants itself in Darla’s walls but nothing gets damaged. Then she's in the doorway, hand raised aloft and shouting, _“For the Honour of Grayskull!”_ Magic consumes her for the third time in two days. The army doesn’t look any smaller from over seven feet. She swings the sword in her hand, drawing a sharp rainbow arc through the air that pushes the first line back. Some soldiers fall off the cliff to the left of the ship and she's grateful not to have to worry about covering Darla on all sides. Catra, Bow and Glimmer group together and run. She can’t watch them as they fight off anything and everything that comes close enough, though she wants to, focus locking onto the bots and soldiers that start to swarm.

The power pools in her arms as She-Ra pushes wave after wave away, not trying to kill in any capacity. She makes sure to only use the sword’s blade against robots and machinery, morphing the weapon into a more blunt instrument for actual soldiers. The bots are persistent, not short circuiting when she wipes them back. As soon as there’s a break she drives the sword into the dusted ground, she throws it up in uneven rocky pillars that send bots flying overhead. Green lightning begins to light up on all sides, broken bots encased in it as they hit the dirt. She moves away from the cliff’s edge and sees the ground stained blue with alien blood, not too much, not enough to suggest dead soldiers. Each groan she hears makes her feel better - at least they’re alive. She-Ra crushes lost weapons on the ground as she moves through another enemy mass, it renders them useless and the dying electricity that shoots up her legs does nothing more than increase the crackle in her skin.

She doesn’t mean to keep Catra in her sights, it’s just a habit she’s developed over years of fighting her. Some soldier seems to be talking to her - She-Ra throws a bot into the ground, the lightning shocks nearby fighters and they fall, shaking, to the ground - Catra and the soldier circle each other like she used to do with her. She laughs and Adora can hear it despite the chaos, it's cold and mocking and it works, as it always does, in distracting and disarming. She-Ra turns when she hears footsteps running close behind, too on-beat to be anything but a bot, the sword slices through it like there’s nothing there but air. When she turns back Catra’s gone and the soldier is on the ground, broken weapon sitting in blood that flows from deep claw marks in their legs.

_‘That’s my girl.’_

The dead bodies of bots start piling up around her, and the blasts keep coming. She doesn’t feel them, not really, her shield absorbs the energy and throws it back. The slope into the valley gets closer as she moves across the field, robots follow but are clumped together. A single swipe of the sword through the air and they’re split and wrecked on grey ground. They break too easily. But more keep coming, so she keeps fighting. Her friends flit by her sights, brown and white, purple and blue, black and red, it assures her they’re okay. 

Catra finds her way over to her, dodging blasts with a grace Adora’s never seen anyone else even come close to. She-Ra knocks a soldier line back and Catra hurls a bot into the ground before they are pressed back to back. She meets her eyes only for a moment but blue and yellow glow wild from adrenaline. Blue blood catches in thin sprays across orange fur. She’s sure she’s not much better.  
“Just like old times, huh Adora?”  
_‘Not exactly.’_

As Catra swings round her side to claw at a soldier, She-Ra sends a heavy magic pulse through the ground, taking legs out from under a chunk of the still-advancing army. The blood sinks slowly into the ground at her feet, she covers Catra when she needs it, leaves her to her own fangs and claws when she doesn’t. It does actually remind her of their childhood, of them fighting together instead of pitted against each other, though now is somewhat more violent. Except then Catra wasn't allowed the unfair advantage of her natural weapons, and she didn’t have the barely controlled power of She-Ra. Either way they always won and they’d celebrate in the barracks afterwards, high on the power they shared.

“I don’t exactly remember Lonnie trying to kill us.” She kicks a Horde loyalist into another row of bots and they all fall uselessly to dead ground under the weight. They’ll be up soon though.  
“Not you maybe. But she definitely had a grudge against me.”

That's true, Lonnie and Catra always had an animosity, usually fuelled by Catra herself, though Adora wasn’t going to say that. “Only because you were better than her.” Also true.  
Glimmer runs over, shouting over gun fire, “Can you guys stop flirting for one fucking minute?”  
Catra tears circuitry out of another bot, it goes dead in her hands, “No can do Sparkles.”

Catra jumps out the way of the explosion induced from her hurling a bot over her shoulder and into the ground. Glimmer throws Adora a soldier that she kicks to the ground. She looks around, Bow is just a bit too close to the edge of the cliff and more and more keep surrounding him, keep surrounding all of them actually. She needs to distract them, take the fire her friends can’t. Three soldiers surge at her and she holds them off with a shield for a few moments and she shouts, “I’m going to lead them away!” Before pushing back with maybe a little bit too much strength, they hit the floor and blood pools quickly. But they’re moving. It’s okay.

Catra looks concerned, concern Adora herself doesn’t feel, “And give up the high ground?”  
She’s _She-Ra_ ; “I don’t need the high ground.”

She smirks at Catra’s wide eyed and battle-flushed face. The white aura around her burns bright, a star that’s too close, her hair flows upwards like she’s caught in the eye of a hurricane. Power surges and her thoughts get foggy with such heavy magic, still, she can see the way the army turns to her with a singular focus. When she crosses the lip of the cliff, heading down the hill, they follow like moths to a flame. 

The change in gravity works in her favour, not that gravity has much of an effect on her when she's like this. She-Ra’s steady legs hold her towering body easily on the decline while regular armoured soldiers lose footing on sandy ground. It’s easy to knock down the fighters, the dwindling number of them there are. Without the threat of overwhelming numbers, she can pick them off a few at a time, none of them are organized enough to get a swarm together. If she gets hit or hurt in any way, the white fire within her burns it away. She just needs to thin the numbers enough to give her the opening she needs, then she can drive the sword into the rock, restore the magic and be gone. She still has a mission to complete and a planet to save; even if the inhabitants are trying to kill her and her friends.

She ought to be tired; she’s not. She will be once the aura fades, but right now the full power of She-Ra keeps her awake and fighting stronger than any of these ordinary soldiers. Over the top of the cliff there’s a green flash and a distanced scream she can’t fully hear over all endless noise. It doesn’t sound like anything she’s familiar with - must be a native blown apart by their own bot. She ignores it, she can’t be distracted with guilt, not right now. There’s another roar, one she knows: Melog. She can’t see them. She assures herself everything is fine. Just a few more waves and it’ll be over. She can do this. They can do this. If the white around her glows brighter, she doesn’t realise it. Everything is dim compared to her. 

* * *

Once the last of them falls panting in pain on sandy ground - ground that is now as blue as the Whispering Woods back home - she heads further into the valley. The ground flattens and a survey of the surroundings says there’s no one left fighting, and no one coming for aid. She-Ra grips the hilt of her golden sword in both hands, sparing a glance at swirling patterns of blue staining her arms. The alien rock resists the blade for but a second before trying to swallow it whole. Magic pours out like a river and she’s giving, giving, giving back everything that was stolen. The ground erupts into a deep velvety purple, cliffs torn apart sew themselves back together on the horizon. She watches as the city is overtaken by electric yellow flora and a viscous liquid bubbles to the surface near Darla, filling rocky chasms that weave between the plateaued mountains. A sun's light breaks through patches in the clouds as they start to break, still orange. It’s gorgeous.

She turns to see soldiers trying to get up: time to go. Sparing one last glance to the sky, she sees the dagger-like ships of Prime hovering over the planet. There’s nothing she can do about them, not from here. She could always jump out the ship and destroy them herself - she should talk to Entrapta about it on the ship. 

She’s walking back, power sapping from her muscles quickly, the white around her fades and she - Adora - starts coming back into her body. She doesn’t shift back, not until she’s sure they’re safe, but the spirit of She-Ra returns to her place beneath the skin. Glimmer shouts at her from the top of the cliff but she can’t make out what she’s saying. She remembers Gimmer can’t teleport her closer and starts running.

“It’s Catra!” she hears Glimmer shout when she’s close enough. The guilt and dread induced when she sees the broken and moaning bodies is almost nothing compared to what those words make her feel. She reaches the lip of the plateau and looks around at the wreckage. Neither Bow nor Catra can be seen, even Melog is gone and Adora was _sure_ she heard them.

“What happened?” She’s still moving, feet sticking in dirt clumped together with blood, but all of it’s blue. All of it except...her eyes focus on the patch of red hidden on rich purple ground. She doesn’t wait for an answer, running to the ship as fast as she can. She doesn’t care if she leaves Glimmer behind, she’s safe. Catra she’s...not. 

There’s a distinct lack of thoughts in her head when she finds herself in the main hallway, listening for where Catra might be. Bow’s voice is soft, but she hears it coming from hers and Catra’s room, she makes her way there in what feels like the snap of a second. For one tiny, meaningless moment she doesn’t think it’s all that bad. There’s blood, yes, but it’s hidden in dark clothes. Catra’s on her side, she’s breathing - maybe, it’s hard to tell. Then she gets closer and her left side comes into view. What’s left of it anyway. She knows her steps stutter, it doesn’t matter, she’s too busy trying not to throw up.

Wrong Hordak sits on the floor, leaning against that window she and Catra love. Entrapta is suspiciously silent. Bow is hovering over her, hands never staying in one place for too long, Melog beside him on the bed, she sees their fur matted down with tissue and blood. Dread sinks deeper. But there’s a reason there’s not that much blood on Catra herself; it’s all burn. The wound cauterized from green fire, the skin around the wound is flaking yellow and black with it. The burn snakes all the way to her face, blue and red blood mixed in her fur as it oozes into her closed eyes from a cut above her eyebrow. Adora forces herself not to look at the worst of it until necessary. Bow moves off her, tears streaking down his green-tinged face. She can't ignore the hole in her side anymore. The way her ribs shine through blood and her intestine’s are black from fire. 

There are tears falling that she only notices because they clang on the metal ground. Every part of her body - She-Ra’s body - shakes as she sits. She’s so tired. Her magic’s already weaker than it should be, flickering out of her body more every second, and Catra she’s...she’s not breathing. She’s not breathing. _She’s not breathing_.  
She can still save her. She’s done it before.

 _‘But what if I can’t.’_ She grits her teeth against the sob that wracks her whole body. She feels the bed vibrate with it. She still has power, she’s still She-Ra. 

She’s so worried about breaking her as she pulls Catra’s legs over her own. Catra’s completely limp, she holds Catra’s head by the back of her neck, an arm around her back on the better side. She can’t look at the crater, even when the blood makes contact with She-Ra’s body. It’s still warm. There’s horror so deeply ingrained in her she fears it might never leave. There’s even more wounds than she thought, just hidden. There’s blood on the bedcovers from a gash in her arm. She wants to talk to her, but there’s still the very real possibility that she’ll throw up. She just needs to do this. Heal her. Bring her back.

 _‘Oh gods she’s already gone.’_ No. _No_. She’s not going to lose her. Never again. 

She brings their foreheads together and digs deep into whatever magic she still has. She feels it flicker as she tugs on it, resisting using too much. But dammit she’s She-Ra and the power will obey her. Together till the end of the world, this _can’t_ be the end. This _isn’t_ the fucking end. She thinks _‘I love you, I love you, I love you so much Catra,’_ as their bodies turn white. She doesn’t see it, her eyes squeezed closed. 

The healing magic feels cold as it always does, icy flame and electricity as opposed to hot destruction. The gold behind her eyes fades, Catra feels bigger in her arms, She-Ra’s gone for now. The magic is dimmer than she’s ever felt it. Catra doesn’t move. Adora opens her eyes, everything is blurred from her tears. She risks a look down, there’s blood but the wound - the hole - is gone, even her clothes have repaired themselves. She can’t tell if the cut deforming Catra’s face is gone too, seeing as her forehead is still pressed there. There’s still blood clinging to her fur and her cheeks are stained with a mix of both their tears.

Catra had been crying from the pain. It feels like some monster’s just taken ahold of her heart and crushed it. But Catra now, she looks...peaceful. Like Adora can pretend she’s asleep and not a corpse in her arms. Gods it’s just like the last time. She hates how vividly she can remember Catra just like this, three years younger, hair slicked back and short, dressed in white clothes.

She hears how ragged her own breath is, barely making it down her throat at all. Catra breathes. She _breathes_. She’s okay. Or at least she’s alive. Relief drowns her and she has to close her eyes against it. Catra’s body doesn’t move at all as she coughs weakly. Adora’s hands on her grip tighter without her permission. It takes a few seconds for Catra’s eyes to squeeze shut despite them not even opening yet. 

“Catra, baby, please wake up,” it’s cracked and broken and watery and it doesn’t matter.  
She doesn’t know why she says it, she’s never called her that before. Maybe it's because she thought she might never be able to. The thought makes more tears flow, not that they ever really stopped. She just holds her, and Catra doesn’t listen to her - when has she ever? She remains deathly still, the only thing even indicating she’s alive is the fluttering breath that brushes against Adora’s face -  
“Hey Adora.”

She’s so shocked by it she can’t say anything. More tears probably fall, she realises Catra’s shaking. But she’s not, it's her. Catra’s forehead pushes against hers like it’s the only thing she can move right now, and that might very well be true. Catra’s eyelashes start fluttering as she blinks. Adora pulls back a little, blue and yellow eyes are unfocused, the black that had consumed them thins to slits. There are tears sitting in them that roll slowly down her face. The black in Catra’s eyes grows again and she seems to focus them on something; on her. It’s like she can breathe again, like there was no air in the world without Catra. 

“You know that’s fucking disgusting right?”  
One of Catra’s hands reaches up and pokes against her face, it shakes the whole way. She must have blood or skin or something stuck to her face, she doesn’t care. The hand falls to her shoulder. Adora laughs, the relief taking over her vocal chords rather than tear ducts now. Of course she would say that. She’s _Catra_ , that’s just how she is. She crushes her to her chest, hand that was on Catra’s nape moving to hold her around her back as well now that the wound is gone. 

When she kisses her, Catra tastes like blood and smoke and salt. Catra cradles her face with the hand that had fallen, fingertips ghostly soft against her face, but then it falls even further, slipping down Adora’s chest to her lap like it’s made of lead. Adora breaks away, keeping their faces close and reveling in Catra’s strengthening breath as it washes over her lips.

“Do you - Do you want to sit up?” For a moment she feels guilt at the crack in her voice, she can’t let Catra know how broken she is right now, she needs to be strong for her. Except she doesn’t. Catra is the one person she doesn’t have to be strong for, not anymore. When she opens her eyes again, Catra’s still crying and it breaks her heart. She wipes the water from her face.  
“I’m good here Princess.” It’s that silly nickname Catra’s grown fond of using during their teases, venom that used to be behind the word long gone. It doesn’t make her feel better.  
“Are you okay?”

 _‘Was it enough? Did I have enough strength to save you?’_ Catra doesn’t respond and it makes her pulse spike. Catra’s eyes flick over to Melog, who’s perched with their front paws on the bed. Her right hand shakes as she raises it to pet their head.  
“I am now, yeah.”

She falls into the embrace again, sighing against Catra’s cheek. Melog jumps up on the bed and knocks their head against her, it’s reassuring, it means Catra’s okay. She laughs quietly and smiles, presses it into fur. She can’t look at Melog, can’t see the skin and blood still clinging to them. Catra starts to move properly, gaining feeling back. She’s able to sit up on her own and Adora moves her face back but she doesn’t remove her hands. Catra looks down, they’re both soaked in her blood.

“We’ve got to stop almost dying in each other's arms,” she tries to joke but it hurts so much that it’s true. They shouldn’t have to have been through this so many times.  
“You’re only saying that because I’m winning two-for-one.”

The laugh she tries to force out sounds more like a sob. She doesn’t mean to. But Catra wraps her arms around her neck and hugs her properly. Dimly, she can hear Catra whispering that she’s okay, that she saved her, in her ear but it all sounds foggy. She just buries her face into Catra’s shoulder, crushing their bodies back together because _she’s alive and she didn't fail _. Catra can’t die again if she keeps her safe in her arms for the rest of their lives. It’s not something that she can do, but by the gods does she want to. Her breath is rattling again and she knows Catra can tell, still, she runs hands down Catra’s intact sides.__

____

_‘It’s gone. It’s gone, and she’s safe and she’s here and she’s alive…’_  
Catra hisses a breath in through her teeth and the panic surges again - what if she’s not okay? What if she’s still hurt and it’s only the outside repaired? What if - no. She just needs to ask, Catra will tell her. She pulls back and moves her hands higher, out the way of where the wound was, holding as softly as she can.

____

“Sorry, does it hurt?” It's far too panicked.  
“Few aches but I’m okay.”  
Catra’s always been one to downplay her own pain. She lifts her hands to stroke down her face, smoothing ruffled fur as she goes. “Are you sure?”  
“All healed, okay?” She sounds so unworried, like everything is okay. But everything wasn’t okay, it was awful! There -

____

“There was a gaping hole in your side Catra!” She doesn’t mean to shout, the way Catra flinches makes her want to cry again. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” It’s mostly lost against her gasping breath. She knows all the blood has probably drained from her face because _now_ Catra looks worried. And Catra calls her the idiot.

____

“Yeah well I’m fine now.”  
But - “I saw your ribs -”  
“Adora…”  
“- And your intestines were black and -”  
“Adora! I’m fine, I’m alive and it’s because you saved me. Again.”

____

The churning in her stomach is back. And she’s so damn tired. It was just fear and adrenaline and magic keeping her awake and all of those seem to be mostly gone now, leaving a hole in her chest. Another tear slips down her face, she can’t help it. And Catra she...she kisses it away. It makes her whimper, this pathetic little sound, because she just loves her and needs her so much. And Catra doesn’t even know how close she was to being lost, for good this time.

____

“I didn’t think I was going to be able to. I already gave too much away healing the planet, I - I didn’t think I would be able to save you too.” She whispers it, a guilty admission. She’s so weak and Catra deserves to know that.  
“Adora, love, you were strong enough. Everything is okay.”  
Of course she says that. Of course she knows what Adora needs to hear. “I nearly forgot how it feels to think I’ve lost you.”

____

She sees the movement in Catra’s throat as she swallows, sees the way she tears up again. “I’ll try not to make a habit out of it Princess.”  
She’s still trying to make this better. Does Catra even know how full she makes her heart feel? She kisses her again and maybe they both cry rivers of tears into it, it doesn’t matter. Catra is alive in her arms and she silently promises that they’ll never have to go through this again. 

____

“Do you need anything?”  
“Water, maybe some food.”

____

Definitely water, Catra’s voice still cracks on every word. She looks around for anyone else, only to see that apart from Melog they’re alone. Huh. She hadn’t noticed. But that does mean she’ll have to get it herself and that means moving. She keeps her voice soft and reassuring, “Okay, okay,” as she disentangles herself from Catra, hands gentle on her wrists to push them away. She doesn’t want to.

____

But Catra won’t let her go, claws dig in so hard that they might make her bleed. She starts purring, not in the contented way she so loves, it's rough and deep and strained. What had Catra once said? Purring meant ‘stay’. Oh. There’s panic in Catra’s voice and in her eyes when she says: “No.”

____

And every worry that’s been sitting dormant for a few minutes rises again. She’s already checking every place where she was hurt, but there’s nothing she can see, still she asks, “Are you hurt?”  
“I’m fine just...promise you’ll stay?”  
Her heart breaks just a little. “Of course, I promise I’m not going anywhere.”  
She’ll never leave Catra again if that’s what she wants. She kisses her forehead before calling Bow in; Catra still needs water. The purring stops - Catra knows she’s staying. 

____

Only it’s not just Bow who enters, he’s followed by both Glimmer and Entrapta as well, all of them waiting outside the door. Catra doesn’t have time to say anything before she’s tackled out of Adora’s lap and onto the bed by Bow and Glimmer. She watches the whole time to see if it hurt Catra in any way, but nothing shows.  
“Are you okay? Is everything better?” Bow’s voice cracks when he says it and she sees Catra smile.

____

Entrapta waddles up to the other side of the bed, petting Catra’s head with her hair. It’s...weird, but sweet. “You have been successfully healed by She-Ra’s magic again. How does it feel?”  
“Like cold water and electricity in my skin.”  
“Isn’t it fascinating?”

____

Catra nods silently and then Entrapta leaves, someone’s got to drive the ship she supposes. Bow and Glimmer get off her and Catra groans as she sits back up, Adora fights down the anxious tug in her gut, merely placing a comforting hand on Catra’s knee. Catra’s okay. She needs to relax. But the hoarseness in Catra’s voice makes her remember what she wanted.  
“Hey can one of you get her some water? And some food?”

____

Bow nods and pats Catra’s hand before leaving. Glimmer stays, giving the cat another (more gentle) hug. “I’m so sorry Catra. We always knew this was a possibility. We should’ve been more prepared.”  
They really should have. She feels so stupid. Glimmer lets her go and Catra says, “I don’t know about you but we’ve been training three times a week, I was totally prepared for this.” Everyone is silent. Adora’s stomach sinks. She was prepared to die for this? What? Since when? And after everything she’s said to Adora about not dying for her friends, she's a damn hypocrite - “Okay maybe not the dying part.” Oh okay.

____

The heavy feeling in her gut stays, reflecting on her face, or so she assumes because Catra’s ears drop when she looks at her. She can’t stop seeing Catra dead and bleeding in her arms. Even Catra’s hand cupping her cheek doesn’t make it go away. She places a hand over hers to try and make Catra think she’s more okay than she is, tries to smile to make it seem more real. Catra’s hand drops.

____

Both of them turn to Glimmer when she speaks, “That’s twice now you’ve saved my life.”  
“Yeah, well think of it as repayment for all the times I tried to kill you.”  
“Still, thank you.”  
Glimmer sighs as she gets up from the bed, Adora can read _‘I wish I could teleport in space’_ so clearly she almost laughs. 

____

Soon after Bow comes rushing back in with a water bottle and a bowl of snacks which Catra takes, smiling at him as she does. Adora moves to the head of the bed, shifting to lean back against the makeshift headboard. She brings the food with her and holds an arm out for Catra, “Sit with me?”

____

The tiredness creeps into the sound, she can’t fight it anymore. She should sleep, but she also knows that whatever dreams come will be full of blood and pain. So she decides it’s not sleep she needs, just rest. And she can rest here, with Catra curling into her side and purring into her neck. She closes her eyes, listening intently to the vibrations that rumble through her skin (and her feet where Melog is lying across them after cleaning themself.) She strokes through Catra’s hair occasionally, freeing it from it's ponytail as she does, while Catra eats and drinks. 

____

* * *

____

“I need a shower,” Catra says when the bowl between them is empty.  
She doesn’t want to move, she wants to stay here with Catra breathing into her neck and curled around her and so very clearly alive. But they’re both covered in blood, Catra especially, and that can’t be comfortable for her. She stands to go with her without a second thought, both her and Melog rushing to Catra’s side when her legs give out. Adora catches her in her arms, lifting her back to an upright position, but Catra just leans into her arms further.

____

She doesn’t mind when Catra smells her, knows it’s a source of comfort, that it always has been. Catra doesn’t let go as she helps her cross the room, not even as she collects their sleep clothes and then travels with her down the hallway to the bathroom. She’ll be with her, for as long as Catra wants her.

____

She takes out her own ponytail and removes her jacket, shoes and socks for the shower but nothing else, even as Catra strips down completely. Adora doesn’t know why but it just feels so much safer to stay clothed. She scrubs blue blood from Catra’s fingers one by one, rubs red away from her arm, and a mix of both from her face. Catra returns the favour for Adora’s forehead before her legs start shaking. Adora wraps her arms around her waist from behind and lowers them to the floor gently. 

____

When she’s not just holding her, Adora runs fingers through Catra’s wet mane, dust disappears down the drain along with the blood from Adora’s own clothes. Warm water soaked through her clothes ages ago and her wet hair makes her head feel heavy as sleep starts calling, she just lays it on Catra’s shoulder until she asks to move. It’s the first thing either of them have said in a long time.

____

She helps Catra dress despite her saying she can do it herself. Catra doesn’t put up a fight anyway. She just _needs_ to touch her, to hold her, feel her pulse. She leads Catra back to their room, only half-registering the watery trail her wet clothes leave behind them. She strips the blood-soaked bedding, holding her breath against the smell while Catra just watches her. Catra lies down on it when she's done, pretending to lounge but the aches that hold her body are clear enough. Adora doesn’t think about it when she leaves the ruined cloth outside the door and locks it. She needs to just be with Catra right now, no one else. She stares at the telecom in the wall, considers breaking it before Catra says, “Adora get changed and come here.”

____

Melog is smaller than usual at the end of the bed, soft cyan making Catra seem ghostly. She banishes all thoughts of ghosts from her head. But she can’t deny Catra’s request and gets changed, leaving the pile of wet clothes on the floor. She doesn’t care. Catra’s bundled in coverless bedding, but she lifts it for Adora anyway when she sits down. She curls into Catra’s left side, nose resting against her pulsepoint, her arm across Catra’s heartbeat. She can’t stop the way her hands grip onto the body beneath her. 

____

Not once does her body lose tension, she stays strong like a cage around her. And every horrible, awful, guilt ridden, worthless thought of hers comes back like a siren she can’t shake. She tries to keep her breathing level but as soon as Catra says her name tears spill over. She hates it, hates that she let today happen at all. She should’ve known, should’ve been better prepared, shouldn’t have gone down into the valley. And she’s just so angry, but it’s weak flame gets crushed under the _‘my fault’_ a hundred times over. She says:

____

“I’m never going to let you go.”  
_‘If I could, I’d keep us here for the rest of time.’_

____

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”  
_'We’ve both been hurt too much, and I couldn’t stop it.’_

____

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I should have been there.”  
_‘Why can I never stop you from getting hurt?’_

_____ _

“Promise you’ll never leave me?”  
Catra’s breath under her stutters with everything she says. The words sound like shattered promises from their childhood, she knows that. But she swears that she never meant to break them. Needs Catra to know she never meant to hurt her like she did. And Catra tries so dearly to lighten the weight she feels, jokes about those same promises like they didn’t tear them apart. Catra even manages to get her to laugh but the tears ruin it. 

_____ _

She feels like can’t stop sobbing as Catra replies with:  
“I’m so sorry, love.”  
The pet name makes her whimper again, still pathetic in her ears. At least she’s hidden from eyes that make her feel raw. There’s nothing from today she should apologise for.  
“I promise I’m never going to leave you.”  
“I love you with everything I am.”

_____ _

She can’t get the _“I love you too,”_ past her lips. Catra promises so many things, they both do, but some will be broken. They always are. Once her breathing levels, not from anything other than exhaustion, Catra lifts her head and kisses her. It tastes like love, none of the blood and bile from earlier. It makes her relax her grip a little, Catra takes the cries from her throat. And when they stop Adora doesn’t sleep, Catra rolls onto her side, back to her front. She holds Catra at her hip, curls the arm under her into Catra’s chest. They lie like that for hours, Adora just breathing against Catra’s neck as she waits for her to fall asleep. She doesn’t. Neither of them say anything. 

_____ _

Thoughts come and go like the tide. Guilt and regret followed by her own confusion. The sooner she figures out how she feels about today, the sooner she can try and forget it. Even if she knows she won’t. She can still hope. It takes a while for the confusion to clear and make sense, but all she has is time right now. Thoughts soaked in fear for Catra have lifted, leaving room for everything else. Thoughts about her first proper battle in three years, even longer since it was one of this size. But she just doesn’t know how to feel about it because of course it’s not clear cut. Nothing ever is. No matter how much she wishes things were.

_____ _

Her train of thought is broken by Catra’s fingers twirling a strand of still-drying hair that has fallen over her shoulder. She knew she was awake so it doesn’t shock her, it’s just a nice distraction. Still, they don’t speak. And it’s okay. Just means she can continue to stew in her head. She gets to grip with the bad feelings pretty easily, the exhaustion, the fear, the anxiety and everything else. She doesn’t dwell in memories, long-lost pain, heartbreak or anything else. She wasn’t fighting Catra today, and she never will again. That, at least, is a good feeling, relief like air. 

_____ _

But it’s not the only good feeling. She’s missed the adrenaline of battle, the rush of winning and the intoxicating power she feels as She-Ra. It’s a feeling she only gets when she’s training with Catra, the training they don’t need anymore. But she does, she _needs_ it. The realisation makes her feel sick. She shouldn’t have missed it. She should be thinking, feeling, this. Not in any capacity.

_____ _

She remembers thinking like this in Brightmoon early on when there’d be long lapses in between missions. She remembers never telling anyone, because they’d never understand. Just like she couldn’t understand the inherent joy in the kingdom when there weren’t any threats for a while. They were feeling joy not anxiety, and she just _didn’t get it_. The only way she’d be able to relax was to go to the training rooms and punch dummy after dummy until her knuckles bled. She remembers never feeling so wrong. 

_____ _

Catra shifts against her and it’s like something clicks. The only person who's ever understood her is right here in her arms. She’s not in Brightmoon feeling alone and out of place, ready to crawl out of her skin. She has Catra again. Catra who grew up just like she did, reliant on physical movement and violence for an outlet for any and all emotions. Catra who sunk further into the Horde’s clutches than she ever did, who sometimes needs to break things because she finds small amounts of comfort in destruction. Catra who loves her and will always understand her in a way no one else does.

_____ _

She doesn’t bring her head up to talk, “Catra?”  
Catra chirrups a definitely unintentional response and everything she was going to say flies out her head. She feels like she’s melting. Catra’s silence means that she’s embarrassed, she knows that. It makes her feel honoured that Catra’s comfortable around her enough to do things like that. But all useful or reassuring sentences get lost and instead all she says is, “Fuck.”

_____ _

She doesn’t usually swear like that and it makes Catra tense. “What?”  
She sounds so worried it makes her insides melt more. “That was so cute.” She knows Catra will probably get defensive at it but she deserves to know. She really is just so fucking cute. A tail curls around her wrist where it holds onto Catra’s hip.  
“Shut up.”

_____ _

She doesn’t let Catra feel how wide she’s smiling. She squeezes her arms and the faded purring comes back. She might be defensive but that purr always betrays her. “I was going to try and start a serious conversation, and then you had to go and be adorable.”  
“Shut. Up. Adora.”

_____ _

She lowers her face again, humming into fur before kissing her neck once and settling back into position. They stay like that for a few minutes before anything else is said. She’s taking the ‘shut up’ very seriously, plus the way purrs rumble through her chest makes her thoughts fuzzy.  
It’s Catra who breaks the silence. “What did you want to talk about?”  
“Huh?”  
“You said you were going to try and start a serious conversation. And while I still don’t like them, we do have to have them.”

_____ _

Oh, right, that. She regrets bringing it up at all. But then again Catra made _that_ sound and she really wouldn’t trade it for anything. “I know. Sometimes I think you’re better at this than I am.”  
“That’s bullshit.”  
She’s not stalling, she just wants to let Catra know much better she’s gotten at this. “No it’s not.”  
Catra whines, “Adora.”  
Maybe she is stalling. “Okay, okay, I know.”

_____ _

She takes a deep breath, burying into Catra’s mane like it’s the universe’s best hiding spot, it's not enough. “I think I forgot how bad it feels, you know, battles and stuff.”  
It’s deflecting from her point, but it’s a start at least. Catra doesn’t speak for a while and Adora doesn’t press. Maybe Catra hasn’t been thinking about this like she has and she’s just trying to figure it out. Whatever it is, she’ll give her time. But Catra doesn’t do anything, just lies there in silence and it starts eating away at her. Her confession tips on the edge of her tongue, and she just needs to get it out, regardless of what Catra will say.

_____ _

“But it felt good as well,” she whispers. She’s so glad Catra can’t see her face because it feels like her heart is hanging by a string, Catra’s words are the blades ready to cut it. She’s been here before, hanging (sometimes literally) over the edge waiting for what Catra will say. Not many times had her heart spared. It's been shattered more times than she cares to count. But then everything had gotten better and those fragments of her heart Catra took and broke over and over without her even realising were returned, mended and given back to her freely. Catra isn’t going to hurt her, not over this.  
“Yeah, it did.”

_____ _

Her breath comes rushing out of her, some lingering distress taints her voice, “You don’t think I’m crazy?”  
It’s enough for Catra to push a little and turn onto her back. She frees her arm and ends up lying lightly on Catra’s chest, a clawless hand holds her jaw, lifting it so Catra can look at her. It’s stupid how much Catra can make her feel at once: loved, scared, weak, strong. She looks back despite it all.

_____ _

“I’m never going to think you’re crazy. I need the fight just as much as you do. I don’t know what we’re going to do about it but...we’ll figure it out together okay?”  
She almost cries again because of course she gets it. Why did she ever have doubts that she wouldn’t? She tilts her head to kiss at the pulsepoint on Catra’s wrist. If she didn’t have more to say, if she didn’t need for Catra to hear what she’s going to say next, there’s no doubt that she would have kissed her like she’s water in a desert. 

_____ _

“I don’t think I appreciate how much you understand me. Just because you always have.”  
“Yeah, well you can spend the rest of our lives telling me.”  
Yes, yes she can. Now she does kiss her, though not with the desperation she could. She keeps it soft and without suggestion of anything else because another thing she should say appears in her head. Catra’s lips twitch into a smile under hers and she beats her to the next sentence.

_____ _

“You make me want to keep fighting, Adora. And not battles, but fighting to be better and to be happy.” The words quickly settle in her heart, nesting there like it’s all she’s ever needed to hear.  
“You make me want to keep living.”  
It’s true. Truer than maybe anything she’s ever said. She’ll die for a cause, for her friends, in a heartbeat, she’s still working on not feeling that way. But for Catra? She will claw her way from the brink of death to live for her. She has. Catra exhales sharply, clearly shocked by words she ought to have heard a million times over. 

_____ _

Cat eyes glisten in the low light until she pulls Adora down on top of her. Nothing else suggests she’s crying and so Adora relaxes, finally relaxes, into her. She still gets to look at Catra’s head next to hers on the pillow but the lull of her purring guides her to sleep quicker than she’d thought possible. And she sleeps, dreamless and heavy, fuelled by magical exhaustion, surrounded by the arms of the woman she loves.  
  


_____ _

* * *

_____ _

  
She wakes up hungry later the same day, she would’ve left Catra to sleep if she weren’t so restless. And besides, Melog wakes her up by licking her face, and her little noises of protest are really just too cute (though she doesn’t say that.) Catra is able to stand on her own this time, tremors gone from her body. It will still take a while for her strength to return in full, she knows that better than anyone. After they’ve eaten and dressed together, Adora leaves Catra to her own devices, watching her as she and Melog make their way to the bridge. _‘She’s fine, she’s okay.’_

_____ _

She talks to Glimmer and Bow, finding out they’re going home, course having been changed as soon as Catra got hurt. It’s sweet. She knows how much everyone - especially Catra - wants to just be home for a while. She can’t imagine having to transform back into the space delegate again after the last few days, though she knows she’ll have to eventually. She just needs time to handle the guilt of being wrong and not seeing signs sooner, and being home is probably the best place for her to do that.

_____ _

It’s an hour or two later when they all end up on Darla’s bridge together. Catra’s ears twitch towards them as they enter as way of welcome, she seems to have just been sitting on the windowsill staring out into space as it streaks by the glass. She looks so calm and it’s such a long way from who she used to be, she looks relaxed and happy and it works better than anything else at lifting Adora’s mood. Before she can go over Glimmer catches her arm, “Adora?”  
“Yeah?”

_____ _

Catra hops off her perch, coming over and taking her hand easily. Melog doesn’t follow, wandering over to Bow. Glimmer looks some mix of angry and upset, it’s concerning but she doesn’t get a word out before -  
“When were you going to tell us that you’re engaged?”

_____ _

Wait what? She’s not engaged - her and Catra aren’t engaged. At least she doesn’t think so, maybe she knows less than she thought. It’s not that she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life with her; it’s the only thing she’s ever truly been sure about. But she only really learnt about the idea and what it means a year or so ago and honestly she's still kind of coming to terms as that being something they might get to have one day. Catra looks just as confused as she is, it’s good to know she’s not missing something at least.

_____ _

“We’re not engaged.”  
Glimmer doesn’t say anything for a moment. “But the pin.” She points to where it sits proudly on Catra’s chest and just seeing it there makes butterflies appear in her stomach. It’s a stupid reaction but she can’t help it.  
“That was just a gift, Glimmer. I can give my girlfriend personal gifts right?”  
“Well of course you can, it’s very sweet of you but -”  
Catra cuts her off, “But nothing. We’re not there just yet Sparkles.”

_____ _

Well that’s reassuring at least. She doesn’t know why it bothers Glimmer so much, but it does and that means she can have fun with it. Glimmer was the one who highlighted the importance of the status to her in the first place. She knows casualness regarding the topic is going to infuriate her, she also knows that Catra absolutely loves to do that. 

_____ _

She turns to her girlfriend, “Tell you what, if I propose to you I’ll tell you.”  
Catra shrugs, already catching on, “I think you mean when I propose to you, but sure.”

_____ _

She has to admit that the thought of being engaged to Catra sounds amazing, but now is not the time to think about it. And sure she knew the teasing would work but Glimmer throws her arms up along with her words, “It’s supposed to be romantic and thoughtful guys!”  
That was almost too easy. She continues the careless tone as she drapes an arm sound Catra’s shoulders, “Does that really sound like us?”

_____ _

The anger fades, replaced with something that reads more like _‘bullshit’_. “Your first kiss happened at the center of the planet after Adora came back to life for you and it was then followed by her saving the Universe through the power of your love. That is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”  
Huh. Well when you say it like that...  
“You know what touche Sparkles.”

_____ _

Glimmer sighs, walking over to where Bow lounges in the makeshift sitting area they’d made on the bridge. Adora leans further into the body she’s cradling. “Ready to go home?”  
Catra hums her agreement as they stand together watching the stars go by and she can’t wait to get home.

_____ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I proof read this I wanted to watch Save The Cat again, the urge was not resisted.  
> Realised I never linked my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/tillykitty10). I am open to prompts and general chats about She-Ra :)


End file.
